Confession time: I’m actually a bit of a history nerd (or buff, if you prefer). History is full of so many interesting moments if you know where to look.
So go ahead and thank these 10 people in advance for telling some pretty amazing, true historical stories, this time about revenge.
#1. The best and the wisest out of the way
“Princess Olga of Kiev. Her husband was murdered by the Drevlians. So she was in charge of the city. Then the Drevlians wanted her to marry their prince. They sent 20 of their best men to convince her to marry their prince. She had them buried alive.
She then sent a message that she accepted the proposal, but required the Drevlians to send their best men to accompany her on her journey in order for the common people to accept the transition.
They sent the best and wisest men who governed their land. When they arrived she sent them up and offered them a bath house to get cleaned up and relax after the long journey. Once inside she barred the doors and burned it down.
With the best and wisest out of the way, she invited more of them over for a funeral service. And somehow not sensing the trap, 5,000 of them showed up. Once they were good and drunk she had her men kill all of them.
She then placed their city under siege. And after several days she asked for 3 pigeons and 3 sparrows from each household, claiming she didn’t want to burden their city any further. The people happily complied.
Olga then had her soldiers each take a bird and attach a burning coal to it (somehow) and released the birds and they all flew back to the city and it burned to the ground.
Damn it’s good to be gangster.”
#2. The Indian Slayer
“Maybe not the most satisfying but, the story of Tom Quick the Indian Slayer is pretty insane and fucked up. The Quick’s were one of the first white families to settle on the Delaware river near Milford PA. Initially they had good relation with the natives but after a group of them killed Tom Quick Sr., Jr. swore he would never rest until he killed the entire Lenape tribe, who were responsible. He supposedly killed 99 of them in his lifetime and on his death bed asked his son to bring him one more so he could make it an even 100. His son refused but after his death members of the Lenape stole his body, cut it up and sent parts to all the neighboring clans. Each clan had a pow-wow where they burnt their part of the body as a celebration of the death of their long time foe. The only problem was Tom Quick died of small pox and these pow-wow effectively spread the illness to nearly the entirely of the Lenape people. He swore he wouldn’t rest until he destroyed the tribe and in death, he did just that.
Here’s a write up from 1851 that paints him as a hero: http://www.jrbooksonline.com/HTML-docs/tom_quick_1851.htm”
#3. The men who killed his father
“Frank Eaton, who became a sharpshooter when he was 15 by outshooting everyone at a nearby fort, then personally hunted and shot down all the men who killed his father. One of the men was killed before Eaton could get to him, so he went to his funeral to make sure he was dead.”
#4. Long game revenge
“Count of monte Cristo is a pretty good one. That book is practically a standard for long game revenge.”
#5. A queen’s vengeance
(According to Tacitus’ version of events which are much more fucking metal).
Boudica, as queen of the Iceni after the death of her husband King Prasutagus, saw the Romans rape her daughters, confiscate her lands and then publicly flog her. So doing the sensible thing, she raises an army and marches on Camulodunum (Colchester) in AD60.
She massacres the population, methodically burns the city, and displays the bodies for miles around. After effectively destroying the IX Legion sent to relieve it, she marches on Londinium (London). This she also burns, to such an extent that a fine red layer of pottery fragments and brick ash is visible under London’s streets, and then does the same to Verulamium (St. Albans).
Boudica is only finally defeated by Governor Suetonius Paulinus, who marches down from his campaigns in Wales to halt her at the Battle of Wattling Street in AD. 61. By this point though, she’d killed around 80,000 Roman citizens and auxiliaries.”
#6. Without retribution
“The Cask of Amontillado, specifically because of the main character’s insistence on not only having revenge, but having it without retribution, and such that Fortunado knew that it was him who did it.”
#7. Not history, but it’s too good to leave out
“The giving tree.”
#8. Too sore to defend themselves
“The story of Dinah from the Old Testament.
TL;DR- Dude rapes girl, then asks her family to marry her. Family says sure, but all of your people need to be circumsized first.
After the circumcisions happened, the family fell on them and slaughtered the men while they were too sore to defend themselves.”
#9. Rural American Punisher
“Buford Hayse Pusser, he was sheriff, they killed his wife and he went on a one man war to rid his county of all crime. He was basically rural America Punisher.”
#10. A pretty good one
“Titus Andronicus is a pretty good one and an overall interesting book.”
I’m off to fall into a Wikipedia hole!