The world has gotten much better (though the road to perfection remains long and winding) about listening to women lately, but as is often pointed out (to some derision), it’s too easily assumed that men have no troubles or worries in the world.
So, here we have a Reddit thread where men get real about the trials and loneliness that can go hand-in-hand with navigating the world while identifying as male.
10. It’s a small thing, but…
“It is very rare to find a company or place of work that allows men to follow a seasonal dress code. It’s really hot in the summer? Women can wear dresses or skirts, men are still wearing suits. It would be nice to be able to wear a nice pair of shorts if it’s really hot out…”
9. Compliments aren’t just for women
“Definitely that we also enjoy compliments. I just got out of a four-year relationship and during some reminiscing thoughts, I realized she never once told me I looked nice or called me handsome or anything. I told her she was beautiful every day for four years, and I don’t even know if she found me attractive.”
8. Stereotypes are harmful for men, too
“Men have just as hard a time overcoming stereotypes as women.
You, a woman, want to learn how to ride a motorcycle or want to be a programmer, and you don’t want to be a housewife or spend all day cooking? Good for you!
You, a man, don’t want to cut the grass, or learn to fix your car by yourself, and you want to spend all day cleaning the house and sewing pillowcases? Wake the fuck up and support your family.”
7. Dads aren’t babysitters
“I’m a guy with kids and a wife who is a nurse that works nights. It is almost impossible for me to go do stuff with them without someone saying something about “daddy duty”or “mom got a free day today huh.” It’s ridiculous. Not every male with a child out there is some deadbeat parent who only hands out with their kids when they absolutely have to.”
6. They need physical contact
“How much we appreciate a woman’s touch.”
5. The loneliness is real
“We don’t have anyone to talk to.”
4. The struggle to hit the toilet is real
“I think most women would be surprised to learn that our piss doesn’t always come out in a nice steady straight stream. My wife still assumes I have no aim because of the times where it may be coming out more in a splash manner or the stream is just completely directed haywire.”
3. They don’t feel allowed to enjoy children who aren’t theirs
“You have to be scared of kids. For example one time I was in the supermarket and a little kid came up to me and told me he was lost. But because people jump to call men pedophiles in the U.S., instead of walking the kid to the front or trying to help him find his mom and dad, I had to tell him to stand there and not to move, and I went to the front and got an employee. Now here’s the craziest thing. The first employee I found was male, and his response was “hang on, it’s store policy that male employees don’t handle these situations.” So he had to go get a female employee who then helped the kid out. I asked the guy after why that was the policy (even tho I kinda knew the answer) and he explained to me that it’s happened before just in this store alone, where a male employee had gone to comfort a crying kid or help them find their parents, and either the parents or a stranger has accused them of trying to kidnap them. So if you haven’t thought about this before, there you go. Now if you see guys walking past a kid who’s lost, you know why a lot of them are. It’s not a lack of wanting to help, it’s the intense fear of being falsely labeled something.”
2. Real men don’t cry…or so they say
“How awkward it is to cry or be emotional in front of other people even in situations where it would be normal, such as funerals. Usually bottle that stuff up and save it for when you’re alone and then let it out so no one sees.”
1. Don’t go by our expressions…
“Literally sometimes we can be sitting there thinking about nothing.
My gf sometimes looks over and asks me what’s wrong as I have a sad or upset expression on my face, but all I’m really wondering is how the fly that’s buzzing around my room got in when all the windows are closed.”