Are you kidding me?!?!
These folks shared some of their most ridiculous stories on AskReddit. Enjoy.
1. Bath & Body Works
“Worked for Bath & Body Works.com customer service for years. It was nothing but “are you kidding me” moments.
One winter we had hand soaps with a cartoon polar bear and penguin on the label, wearing scarves and sledding. I had a lady call and YELL at me for nearly an hour about how inaccurate that is, since polar bears and penguins don’t live in the same place. She demanded that I tell her why we put them on the label together.
I didn’t last much longer after that.”
“I have a last name that is common but comes in multiple spellings. Think Smith/Smyth. I always spell the name out when I tell people my last name because mine is the less common method. I was checking into a hotel and the employee checking me in was having a hard time finding our reservations. I believe it was her first day so she asked the manager for help. I tell him how to spell my name but he wasn’t really listening. More of a let me show this new girl how it is done.
After what seemed like 20 minutes he says “Oh here it is. Someone misspelled your name. They put a y instead of an I” Me: “That is the correct spelling” Him: “No it isn’t! I know how to spell Smith. I am going to change it in our system it will only take me a second”
That was the day I realized I didn’t know how to spell my own name.”
3. The good ol’ DMV
“Denied a drivers license because my birth certificate was “invalid” for having a tiny hole in the center. I waited 4 hours.”
4. Teacher of the year
“I had a college professor scold the class for helping each other study for exams because she stated we were all competing for a program spot/future job and needed to be more competitive. She magically was not teaching any classes next semester.”
5. Thanks, teach!
“I had a teacher in a base level chem-phys class yell at my class after everyone failed a test because we hadn’t been taught half of the unit.
His exact words were “it’s not my job to teach you the materials” “.
6. How dare you!
“I got suspended for the horrendous crime of taking Tylenol on school property last year. I was waiting for the shuttle to marching band practice when I had cramps, and there was no way to get to the nurse and back to the bus stop on time. I of course complained about my impending miserable practice to a few friends and one offered me Tylenol.
Practice went great, I thought nothing of it. Next day my friend and I were dragged to the office and interrogated because someone told the school I took 6 pills of speed. I never had broken a rule before that so I was panicking. I remember the quote of the year being “if it was just Tylenol that doesn’t explain why you’re so upset right now”. Apparently I was the only person at that school who cared when they were in trouble. They ended up confirming it was Tylenol though, and just when I thought Truth, Justice, and the American Way had prevailed, they suspended me anyway.”
7. Bad Driving 101
“Going to the dreaded blue store and a woman on her phone nearly pulls into me (big blue dodge van) as she suddenly decides she needs to be in the turn lane and then nearly rear ends me because she assumed we would just continue to go when the light changed to red (there were two cars ahead of me too). If that wasn’t bad enough she nearly hits me again in the parking lot as she drives across the parking spots and has the nerve to flip me off when I honk at her to stop her from slamming into me.”
8. Poor pooch
“I used to work at an animal shelter. A woman brought in a Rottweiler puppy, age 8 weeks. Said she was surrendering it because she did not realize it would get that big. O.O
(Honestly, though, thank you thank you thank you lady. You brought him in young, cute, and supremely adoptable and not a year and a half later, out of control and completely unsocialized from living in your yard. You did the right thing!).”
9. It’s my name
“When people correct me about my last name, or claim to know where it originates. Here’s a typical cringe conversation I have about it:
“My last name is (last name)”
“Oh, you mean (mispronounces last name)”
“No, it’s pronounced (correct last name)”
“Well, in Russia its pronounced my way”
“…my last name isn’t Russian, it’s German.”
“Actually, I know it’s Russian and…blah blah blah (I stop listening at this point)” “
“At one point I was engaged. I was together with this girl for nearly 7 years. Her car died so I bought her a brand new one of her choice. She wanted something small and easy to drive with good storage space so she chose a Scion xD. We drove 4 hours to the next state to get one in the color that she wanted.
A few months later she’s leaving me to be with an older mid 30s, unemployed, uneducated, no skills, married loser who she knows fulls well is cheating on his wife with her. He stayed at home all day while his wife worked. They would do their thing together and be sure to get him back home before his wife so she wouldn’t know.
Well, here’s this brand new car. It was in my name. I was making the payments. And she’s leaving me to go be with this mutual cheater. I told her that she had two options regarding this car. She could either get a loan to purchase this car off of me or I’m taking the car back. I’m not going to pay ~$18,000 after interest for a car for you now.
She wasn’t happy about this. She was also using my old cell phone since she broke hers. I told her that I wanted my phone back, too. After I got it back I looked at what she left on it. She deleted the contact of her new cheater fuckboy but the text messages remained. I knew his number so it was easy to see who she was talking to.
She was saying to him that I was “driving her crazy” about this car and that I wouldn’t just leave her alone about it.
You think that you can leave me for the guy that you were cheating on me with and that I’m still going to pay for this brand new car of your choice for you?”
“I work fast food, we have a relatively popular item which is a strawberry slush made with actual strawberries. It says as much on the menu.
Customer orders a strawberry slush. Sixty seconds pass, and they call back in and want to speak to a manager.
Dipshit: “My strawberry slush has strawberry in it?”
Me: “Well, yes, of course?”
Very itchy dipsh*t: “I’m allergic to strawberries.” “
12. A strange reaction
“A customer in the restaurant I work in had a seizure and an ambulance was called. My reaction when the ambulance pulled up was to prop he door open for the paramedics so they could get in faster. The assistant managers reaction was to complain to me about how they parked right in front of the entrance, and that they should have more respect for the business…”
13. They’re everywhere!
“I spent 30 minutes talking to a flat earther.
A REAL flat earther.”
14. It wasn’t me
“My license got suspended for several months because a woman with my exact name (not at all common) got caught driving without insurance and the officer mistakenly assigned the ticket to me. After finally figuring out what happened, my boyfriend and I had to take a day off work and drive an hour to the town she got the ticket in to go to court and basically prove I wasn’t her.
After I was cleared it still took well over a month for my license to be reinstated. It was so inconvenient and beyond frustrating because I had done absolutely nothing wrong! Fast forward two years and I’m denied when trying to get a library card because the same woman had a late fee for a Fast and Furious 6 dvd.”
15. Time to quit
“Was in a training period for a job I tried to land to pay the bills after I graduated and was meandering in search of career direction.
I got the flu in my 2nd week of training, during a blizzard in which we were maybe one of a handful of offices open in town. I was really, really sick, like “don’t go into work” sick, but it was training, and even if it was a sh-t anyone-can-do-it job, I still wanted to tough it out by going in. I just had my girlfriend at the time drive me because I was so out of it.
We’re getting toward mid-afternoon, and the weather has been getting worse. I’d spent most of 11am-2pm excusing myself to go to the toilet and vomit.
Finally, it occurred to me this was a bad job and lives weren’t at stake by me toughing it out. So I went to my supervisor and explained to her: look, I’m sick, I’ve been sick all day, I haven’t been productive as a result, and since I didn’t drive today, I’d like to leave ONE hour early due to the weather and me being sick.
My supervisor said: OK, you can leave, but you will get a written warning for leaving work early. If you get another warning, you will be fired.
I put in my two weeks’ notice the next day.
(And to my surprise: they accepted it and said “OK, sit here for two weeks without any incentive and be totally unproductive”. That was weird.)”