Listen up and listen good!
Seriously… if you don’t read ALL of these tweets right now, they’ll self destruct All of that comedy will just go to waste! You don’t want to waste comedy, do you?!!???
Okay okay, we kid, but why even think about it? We all know why we’re here: to read these funny ass tweets and chew bubblegum.
And wouldn’t you know it… we’re fresh out of bubblegum.
1. I’m gonna with Joker, because I don’t want to die…
who wore it better pic.twitter.com/RBDCYLsdCu
— LILAFRIMANE (@LORAFRIMANEE) October 11, 2019
dads be like “go help ur mother” bro go help ur wife
— gunass (@OBLOMOVITE) October 1, 2019
3. It never stops
[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy
[friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?
— brent (@murrman5) October 1, 2019
4. We finally settled it!
Okay, let's settle this once and for all: if Belle has sex with the Beast while he's in Beastmode, is it bestiality?
— Lindsay Ellis (@thelindsayellis) October 3, 2019
5. What is it with women and cheese?!?
[at a restaurant]
woman: and i’ll have that without cheese
me: *leaning my entire body into the waiters line of sight from a neighboring table* i’ll have her cheese
— erin chack (@ErinChack) October 2, 2019
It’s time to revive the legendary tweets pic.twitter.com/GJQgpjr2dW
— 🎃👻 Spooktine 👻🎃 (@little_paisano) October 1, 2019
7. Set. For. Life.
My GF just passed the Bar. Not only will I be a stay at home Dad Im suing everyone.
— Russell James (@RbenzHF) October 11, 2019
8. PERFECT dad costume
ladies & gentlemen, i present to you my dads halloween costume pic.twitter.com/E9mJ6zJwig
— ashlyn (@AshlynDanyela) September 30, 2019
9. I accept you!
He was so terrified when we brought him home 2 days ago, now he’s a member of the family❤️ pic.twitter.com/AaZpBQ2kP3
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) October 6, 2019
10. What is TV anymore??
the fact that this is one of the funniest moments in cinematic history pic.twitter.com/NUp6unmELi
— Big Beowbz??? (@myskinsmylogo) October 1, 2019
11. Their Twitter game is on point!
Me: should I just text him again?
— 𝐤𝐚𝐲𝐲𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 (@kayyorkcity) September 30, 2019
12. Ya need some help…
I use Pedialyte so much for hangovers that I forgot it was used for anything else. Just saw a baby drinking it and my first thought was damn this baby is sloppy as shit hungover on a Monday morning
— Moss Perricone (@mossperricone) October 14, 2019
Whew! That was fun!
Personally, I think McLovin’ wore it better, but that’s just me.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments, yo!