Ah, weddings. They’re supposed to be classy events where we can sip complimentary free booze and dish about the bridal fashions and food choices with our friends, but most of us would agree that weddings aren’t weddings without at least a bit of drama.
That goes double for these 15 people, who have witnessed some serious sh*t.
15. Why even bother?
“The groom’s family did not like the bride. This was because after they couple met, the groom (aged 32) started to finally have a life and make his own decisions. Before that the grooms parents were his entire life as he worked with his dad and still lived at home. Grooms mom also did all of his banking so the guy didn’t even know how much money he had in his account (yeah the groom was a very sheltered child who turned in a very lonely, slightly weird adult who’d only had one short term girlfriend before he met the bride).
Even though grooms family did not want this wedding to happen, they came to the wedding. The grooms mom, dad and sister then proceeded to ignore the bride the entire time. When they were doing family pictures, grooms family refused to stand next to the bride. When the bride walked into the church, they refused to stand and looked straight ahead her entire walk up the isle. They proceeded to have a “whispered” conversation at the bride was saying her vows. At the reception grooms sister tried (my fellow bridesmaids and I stopped her) to walk into the dance floor with her dad during the brides dance with her father.
They were relentless in their attempts to make sure every one of the 150 guests knew they did not like the bride. The poor bride was an emotional wreck about to have a break down by the time dinner was served. The groom was so angry that you could practically see the smoke coming out his ears. It all came to a end when the groom punched his dad in the face at the end of dinner when the dad insinuated that the bride looked like she belonged at the strip club in her (not very slutty v neck dress with a low back) dress.
His family is utter trash and the groom hasn’t spoken a word to his parents in 3 years.”
14. How mature
“A fight broke out because the bride wanted a bridesmaids and groomsmen dance. A bridesmaid’s boyfriend did not approve of her dancing with another dude, no matter the reason.”
“Wife was part of the wedding party and the happy couple wanted wedding pics with the maids making out wirh the groomsmen, then all of them topless, and so on, the list just got worse… none of them knew each other; there was no warning; just crazy expectation their friends would do anything they asked for their big day.
My wife (girlfriend then) was so upset she walked out crying, so we went home.”
12. He is the best goat mom ever
“My meth-head uncle brought a baby goat to my reception, because he, and I quote, “is the best goat mom ever”. The goat died the next day.”
11. McDonald’s in hand
“I love my husband’s family. They’ve been great to me with two specific exceptions (not my mother in law).
my MIL and her boyfriend showed up to the ceremony minutes before it began, both with McDonald’s in hand. The rest of his family came in while we were saying our vows. If you’ve been to a Catholic ceremony, you’ll understand just how late this made them. I could barely hear the priest over the pews squeaking. Props to him though, didn’t say a thing about it. Everything else went well though!?”
10. She forgot her teeth
“My ex father in law. He remarried a woman who was much younger than him. Fancy wedding, went all out on the location and the decorations and his new brides wedding dress. He spent a ton of money and it was beautiful.
Several members from his side of the family showed up in jeans, not nice jeans, torn, dirty, frayed jeans, and tee shirts. His own sister showed up in a tank top and jean cut off shorts.And she forgot to bring her teeth. Half of the wedding guests seriously looked like they were part of a white trash carnival.
They pretty much all got drunk and terrorized this beautiful expensive venue.
It was an amazing wedding. I had a blast.”
9. The puke table
“A girl was pretty trashed right off the bat at the reception, and she projectile vomited all over her table. It was known as the puke table for the rest of the night. At the same wedding, a guy kept cutting his dress pants shorter and shorter throughout the evening until they were daisy dukes. He was rad. I also remembered my dancing partner did the splits (while going commando), and there was a huge rip in his pants. His balls were hanging out the rest of the evening. Dear god that was a fun wedding.”
8. Step away from the microphone
“Brother of the groom grabbing the mic while he was drunk and announcing to the guests that they needed “To shut up and sit down because it’s [Bride] and [Groom’s] big day and ya’ll are ruining it by talking and dancing.” Naturally this was after dinner and when the band was playing so everyone could dance.”
7. A quick, quiet annulment
“I was bridesmaid in a wedding many years ago.
During the talk about love, honor and commitment from the celebrant, the father of the bride leaned into the bridesmaids and said something like “wait, they’re talking about my daughter, right? Does she even know what those words mean?” The only photo I kept from that day was of the bunch of us trying not to laugh.
Same wedding, but during the reception portion of it, there was a fight because someone made a disparaging remark about the bride being … well, “free with her sexual favours” to put it nicely. The groom stood up for her and it turned into a fist fight. Turns out she’d never had sex with HIM (which might explain why they married 4 months after meeting), but she HAD had sex with ALL of his groomsmen. During the ~2 months between getting engaged and getting married.
Wedding ended with her drunk & puking on my shoes, the groom went to the honeymoon suite hotel room they’d booked with the sister of one of the groomsmen and a quick, quiet annullment a few weeks later.”
6. Everyone has that one aunt
“We were driving from the wedding site to reception. My friend had a sign that said “Show Us Your Boobs” that he kept him his car. He started waving it and one of the aunts of the bride…. showed us her boobs”
5. So inappropriate
“Was at the wedding of a friend. The couple was inter-racial. Wedding is a lovely combination of traditions from both sides. Bride and groom had decided NOT to have speeches as there were a couple people on both sides who weren’t particularly pleased with them getting married.
So reception begins, alcohol flows and eventually intermingling occurs between the families. Then her Great- Uncle, whom she had been very close to all her life, manages to convince the DJ to let him make a quick little speech. The speech is this lovely little prattling thing about how wonderful the bride is and how Great-Uncle had always felt she was the daughter he never had and if she had to marry someone at least it was a man who had already proven he could take care of her etc etc.
Everyone is tearing up.
Then the Bitch-Queen of Angamar stands up, takes the mic from her husband and says “I’ll now translate for the groom’s family”. Then she TAKES HER TEETH OUT and begins grunting like an animal.
She was quickly dragged out of the building but it pretty much killed the mood for the rest of the party.”
4. How they met
“You know how the groom gets the garter off the bride? Now imagine being in a room with family, friends and coworkers and watching the bride give the groom a lap dance while he removes the garter with his teeth while that romantic ballad, “Pour Some Sugar On Me” blasts from the speakers.
That was probably not a good way for her to tell her parents that she put herself through college working at a strip club. Or for him to tell his parents he met the bride at the strip club.
(And everyone bitched when they wanted a child-free wedding)”
“My sister’s wedding….the groom’s mom performed the ceremony, decked out in a crazy black dress with a slit just about up to her lady bits, rocking some serious fishnet stockings. She gave a long “sermon” about marriage, and the whole thing was batsh*t crazy. The best part of it was when she was talking about cheating in a marriage, and how the bride should handle it. She essentially said her son would cheat, but don’t worry, because “I’ve got your back.” She was talking about how she’d yell at her son, and that my sister could be mad, but should ultimately forgive him.
Once the ceremony was over, she stepped in front of the newly married couple, spread her arms wide for her adoring crowd, and walked in front of my sister and her husband as they left the ceremony. Photographer couldn’t even get a decent picture because the groom’s mom was blocking them.
Then, this crazy woman changed into a white dress for the reception and kept yelling, “that’s my baby boy” over and over as we all watched a picture video of the couple. So glad we had a few drinks before the wedding.”
2. A full-on melee
“not me but my father went to a wedding of a distant relative, i don’t recall whether bride or groom. the ceremony went off fine, everybody drove over to the reception hall for dinner & drinks, and drinks and more drinks. the crowd was getting pretty rowdy and the groom was pretty drunk by the end of dinner. she was visibly annoyed at his drunken antics through the first dance but things settled down as people danced to the first set.
during the band’s break the bride & groom went up to cut the wedding cake. they held the knife together but the groom ended up cutting a comically huge piece. as she went to feed him a bite of cake he did the same… only as she opened her mouth, he slammed the cake into her face and erupted in drunken laugher.
the bride immediately swung and landed a solid punch to his face. this sobered up the groom and he responded by picking up a layer of the cake and smashing it over the brides head. about that time the father of the bride (70 year old!) and the bride’s brother got to the groom, threw him down and started beating the sh*t out of him. the best man got involved in the groom’s defense and then all hell broke loose in the hall.
it was a full on melee as various relatives and friends started brawling as others ran for the doors. my dad got out quickly but watched from across the street while waiting for a cab. the sheriff showed up, broke up the fight & got the bride’s and groom’s sides separated & calmed down. a couple ambulances came… thankfully no one died but i think the concussed groom had to get a number of stitches & the father of the bride had to taken to the hospital for observation on chest pains, along side a few more assorted injuries.
the minister was happy to shred the marriage license instead of turning it in, and i don’t believe they’ve ever talked since.”
1. Tailgate kegger
“Went back to my rural hometown to a high school classmate’s wedding. The reception was held at the county fair grounds and was basically just a tailgate sitting kegger in an empty lot. Usually this is perfectly fine, but the groomsmen got belligerently drunk and 3 full on fist fights ended up breaking out over the course of the night. Shirts off, rolling in the grass, headlocks, buddies jumping in for a cheap punch, the whole shebang. Cops ended up coming and shutting it down.
Side note: I was also the only person in attendance wearing a tie (including the groom). They broke up 3 months later and it’s really hard to keep track of whose kid belongs to who between them, their new significant others, and their new partner’s exes. Small towns are f*cked.