If you’ve traveled outside your home country, no doubt you’ve been worried that you’re making some obvious travelers mistake that will make you stick out like a sore thumb. That, or you’re sure the people are screwing with you, but you’re not exactly sure how…
If it’s the latter, read through these 12 confessions – you just might find your answer!
#12. But it’s probably pretty good
“From Germany: We tell everybody that this specific regional beer is the best in our country. We tell it everywhere to anyone, so people have to try and support the beer industry.”
#11. It shouldn’t be funny, and yet…
“Well North Korea has this suprise extended stay program you don’t get told about till after your in it.”
#10. Montana is kind of like a foreign country
“Out here in Montana we have “Jackalopes”. Taxidermists take antlers and stick them on jackrabbits.”
#9. They probably take turns
“I hear the Irish piss on the Blarney Stone every night!”
#8. Everybody needs a laugh
“We try to get them to ask for directions to Leicester Square, Edinburgh or Loughborough, or to say ‘Worcestershire sauce’.”
#7. Say ‘fake’ one more time
“We built a whole multi-million pound industry based on a fake dinosaur that we pretend lives in a lake.
We take people out on trips to see the fake dinosaur, run fake dinosaur tours, sell photos of the fake dinosaur, have museums dedicated to the fake dinosaur, sell tshirts, key rings, soft toys, pendants, movies, souvenirs of every shape and size. Of a fake dinosaur. That we pretend lives in a lake.”
#6. Those crazy Scots
“Telling them that Haggis is a real creature that lives in the highlands.”
#5. Aussies are savage
“We tell ’em Drop Bears are a made-up legend to fuck with tourists, then direct them to the nearest nest of Drop Bears whereupon they are promptly slaughtered and devoured. We chuckle and open a tinny.
Drop Bears are real folks. Don’t go out in the bush without your conical anti-DB hat made of tin.”
#4. That’s culture for you
“selling you the traditional Chinese medicine (some herbs or even dry cicadas) with high price and telling you they are efficient while we have an intravenous drip for just a common cold.
convincing you are handsome/pretty so that you buy souvenirs
dragons are real
phoenixes are real （But fire cupping therapy is efficacious for sure)”
#3. Hook, line, and sinker
“One of my favourite things to tell tourists is that Wagga Wagga is actually called Wagga Wagga Wagga Wagga but they shortened it to Wagga Wagga so it’d fit on maps and signs.”
#2. Have been to the Netherlands, can confirm
“In Copenhagen we kill them when they walk in the bike lanes.”
#1. Everyone has to have a hobby
“I’m a US citizen but I live in Singapore, so whenever I go home I like to fuck with people. I talk about how there’s no change in seasons (there is, but it’s subtle – monsoon versus dry season) and how you can be hanged for chewing gum. My actual family is used to that kind of bullshit by now, but every now and then I’ll convince a gullible taxi driver or waiter of something absurd if they’re talkative enough.”