When you’re traveling alone, public transportation can be a gamble as far as your seatmate goes. Sure, there’s the occasional instant kinship or enjoyable conversation that can develop, but for the most part we count ourselves lucky if the other person just minds their business.
These 15 people had experiences that will make you consider buying the best headphones money can buy. And maybe some bleach for your eyes.
“Someone who takes their shoes and socks off once the bus starts moving and puts their feet up against the back of the seat in front of them.”
#14. A fun trip.
“That guy who keeps hitting on you, over, and over, and over…
Even though hes like 20 years older… bad breath..and his wife is right there…
That was a fun trip.”
“A passenger that relentlessly tries to engage you in unwanted conversation.”
#12. Flinging the residue.
“Someone taking the dirt out from their finger nails with a pocket knife and flinging the residue in you direction while making eye contact for dominance.”
#11. I’ll pay a bit extra.
“I got on a greyhound and the guy I originally sat beside was a real life jabba the hut. He was massive and had these open sores all over and he stank. I had to move pretty quickly and never took a bus again, I’ll pay a bit extra to never have to see that again.”
#10. A trifecta plus one.
“An homeless guy shitting his pants while masturbating and listening to loud music while making a teeth-sucking noise.”
#9. A hint of wet dog.
“The one that refuses to attend to their personal hygiene. Once paid an extra £35 to travel on a different coach 2 hours later to aboid sitting next to this slightly overweight hairy sweaty 45-50yo guy. Smelled like faeces and BO with a hint of wet dog. I thought him or myself had stood in dog shit at first until i realised how just disgusting he was.”
#8. Full Fight Club.
“I sat beside a dude who was talking to himself at first. Then arguing with himself. And eventually hitting himself.
Dude went half Fight Club right beside me.
It was a public bus and people had started emptying out, so I could move thankfully. When I apologized and asked to get by he told me “don’t worry about it” twice in slightly different ways.
Then I watched him go full Fight Club and start the swearing and slapping himself and right before he did serious damage the bus stopped, and some officer looking dudes got on and escorted him off.
It was fucking crazy.”
#7. Why is there more food?
“The bag rustling chammer. Eat your sandwich over there, away from me.
Oh God, why is there more food? Is this a picnic? Are you going to slurp soup from a thermos next? Oh, yup, there you go. Dainty slurps so you don’t spill any on your white shirt. Yeah, wipe that finger around the rim. Really get in there, don’t leave a drop. Then smack your lips. Mmmm, obnoxious.
And here comes the crisps. Did you bring enough to share with the whole bus? No? Then kindly stop masticating and crinkling and burping and picking your teeth with such evidently orgasmic satisfaction.
#6. Mr. Pompous.
“The one who tries to give you life advice. I’ll gladly listen to the Emperor of China (true encounter) or the homeless buddy, but I’m putting in my earbuds for Mr. Pompous.”
#5. All the perfume she owns.
“The chain smoker granny who bathed in all the perfume she owns.”
#4. No headphones.
“Loud music, no headphones.”
#3. The scoffer.
“Sat next to a guy who spread out his legs and took up both armrests (on a plane – i was middle seat, he was aisle). He would scoff, give me dirty looks or shifted in his seat in an over exaggerated way every time I accidentally touched him. I had to sit stiffly, straight up, for two hours.”
#2. They’re just lively!
“Wisconsin wine mom with 6 kids who are “just lively they don’t need medicine” as they drink soda and scream. For 12 hours.”
#1. American tourists.
“As a brit, American tourists.
I dislike public transport but it’s a part of my life, I get through it by sitting on my own and listening to music.
If i take one of my earphones out to answer your question of “can i sit here?” It is not an open invite to talk to me for the whole journey, especially if it’s a long one.
I love that you people are very sociable in just about every setting, but just be quiet on the bus and let me enjoy my peace.
it’s bad enough that i’m sharing my space with a stranger but it makes it worse when they won’t leave me alone for the duration.”