Sociopathy and psychopathy actually are tough to spot. You see, the thing about psychopaths (and, to a lesser extent, sociopaths) is that they look and act like everyone else…until they don’t. One moment things are totally normal, then next thing you know everything is out of control.
These 13+ people didn’t know who they were spending their time with at first, but after they did, some of these amazingly uncomfortable moments made a lot more sense.
#15. Every single hair on my body stood straight up.
“I remember from a very early age that my mom would just stand in the entrance to my room with a knife. This didn’t happen very often, maybe 2-3 times a year.
When I was 9, I finally asked her why she would do this. I’ll never forget how she said this. She looked me dead in the eyes and said that I was a mistake and she was deciding if she “should do what she should have done a long time ago”. I asked to move in with my grandma a week later.
Thinking about how she said it still gets my heart racing 22 years later. I don’t know if I can accurately describe it but every single hair on my body stood straight up. I was paralyzed with fear and I felt like if I moved too suddenly she would strike.
Backstory: Mom had me when she was 16 and regularly told me that I ruined her life. She was a habitual drug user and alcoholic. She told me that if she had the money she would have had an abortion.”
#14. Play things.
“When they told me they see their friends and people as play things.”
#13. Completely dead in the face and eyes.
“I dated someone who I now believe is a sociopath.
The most uncomfortable thing while we were dating was the he would constantly whisper things in my ear in public (in earshot of other people) like, “Do you think I look hot right now?” or “Do you think I’m cool?” And the first few times I thought he was joking so I laughed, and he’d get angry. He wanted a serious answer, he wanted me to tell him how much I wanted to jump his bones right there in front of all of our friends, while they were watching and listening. I’d get lectured afterwards like, “You know, you really insulted me personally when you laughed at me in front of everyone.”
He could also cry on cue to get what he wanted and as soon as he got what he wanted, it would instantly switch off and he’d turn very serious and tell me what a horrible person I was. The instant emotional switches are disarming.
When he broke up with me I went from being his favorite person in the world to instantly at the very bottom of his shit list. He laughed when I cried on multiple occasions calling me ridiculous.
What’s very alarming about people like him is how many people they can get on their side with their charm. None of his current friends know anything about his behavior behind closed doors. And they’re all new people, all the people who “caught on” when we were dating are gone from his life. He has convinced his new friends that I’m a psychopath because I tried to tell others what happened so whenever I say anything about what a creep he is, I get brigaded by the new people who are now being manipulated.
Also he is completely dead in the face and eyes until you interact with him and then it’s like he becomes animated.”
#12. He was just very enthusiastic.
“Someone in our extended family. He offered to kill my cat for me to safe a vet bill. The cat wasn’t sick. Or old. He was just very enthusiastic about helping us out with that particular issue.
He’s not allowed to be alone with pets anymore.
Edit: This wasn’t the first incident, actually. At a family gathering he took the family dog for a walk. He returned with the dog soaking wet. It was December, and he claimed the dog had chased a squirrel into the river. People didn’t entirely believe that story, somehow.
He also tends to just leave gatherings without telling anyone, sleeps in the garden instead of on the couch, and he rarely blinks. He is just altogether a little odd.”
#11. Living with her was a nightmare.
“My sister feels nothing but rage. When she doesn’t feel rage, she feels, literally, nothing. She spends her life manipulating everyone around her and satisfying that rage. She mercilessly abused me growing up. She tried to kill me three times before I moved out. No one believed me. Because I was older and larger, I was always considered to be the aggressor, even when I was being violently assaulted in my sleep. Living with her was a nightmare. The most uncomfortable moment between us wasn’t something she did to me. It was something I considered doing to her.
I’d been sent up to the crawl space to get an ornament. You could only access it from a ladder in the garage. When I grabbed it and turned around, she was at the top of the ladder, staring at me. There wasn’t any room for her to come up, she was just waiting there. Staring. She told me to get out of the way, and I told her I couldn’t. There wasn’t room for two people in the crawlspace. She’d have to go back down the ladder. She immediately switched to rage. She said she hated me, and she wasn’t going to let me down from the crawlspace. It was 110 degrees in there, and I was already exhausted.
I remember thinking… she’s at the top of a ladder… over a cement floor… I could make this stop… I’d just say it was an accident… I’m only 12… no one would convict me…
As soon as I thought that, her face suddenly went blank, and she went back down the ladder.”
#10. He actually thought it was endearing.
“In high school, my boyfriend at the time and I shared a math class together. It was well known we were dating so I would always take him his homework via teachers request if he missed (he skipped a lot). I broke up with him over Xmas break (he cheated on me). Math teacher obviously still assumed we were together so he asked me to bring him his homework. I did.
Got to his house, wanting to drop it off at his door step. He told me to come in and explain it to him. He locked his bedroom door and started saying shit like “if I can’t have you then no one else can”, “I could get you back in a second. Just admit it”… etc. Then the true kicker: “if I killed you or if you died, I would keep your body in my closet or hung behind my door just to have sex with it”. (Disclaimer: I never had sex with him and I think that killed him). He then proceeded to try to make out with me and jam his hands down my pants. He actually thought it was endearing and had no idea why I was so upset.
I got out. Called my mom to pick me up. And ran back to the school (he lived close).
Terrifying. To this day I’m still horrified about it and him. Last I heard he was trying to be a magician, looks like Charles Manson, and is in and out of psych wards.”
#9. I think my friend was about to kill him.
“I have a friend who’s a pathological liar. He’s also mostly Scottish in heritage – northern Scotland, where the Viking influence is. He’s 6’8, 350 lbs when he’s watching his weight, 400+ when he isn’t and there is a lot of muscle to go with everything else.
The lies aren’t all that awful most of the time – he’s known as a very entertaining storyteller and everyone knows he’ll embellish greatly from time to time. But he can’t keep a girlfriend – apparently he can’t be honest, is a pathological cheater, the lies catch up with his relationships in a few weeks at most.
One day we were in a taxi together and he got the idea that the driver was taking a route that was unnecessarily long. He stopped the cheerful story he was telling me mid-sentence. His face changed and he barked at the cab driver in a voice I’d never heard, loud and angry and aggressive. The cab driver immediately pulled over and let us out with out paying, and a good thing too – I think my friend was about to kill him. I was petrified in my seat – I felt like he might kill everyone in range, I was terrified.
It was the last time I spent time with him, though I’d known him for 20 years. I later learned that he won’t associate with someone after they’ve “seen him snap,” as one of his other ex-friends put it.”
#8. He thought it was funny.
“This kid in my 8th grade class. He showed us a video of him lighting a cat on fire while it was alive. He thought it was funny. We reported the video to the school and he was apprehended next day.
I believe you can find a news story online about it. It happened in Maryland a few years ago.”
#7. I would just awkwardly nod my head.
“When he would tell a story that I was apart of and make up huge lies of what happened. Even sometimes switch his role and mine. And I would just awkwardly nod my head and wonder if he truly remembered it that way.”
#6. How dangerous she actually was.
“By far figuring out how she dangerous she actually was. I grew up with her until she was removed from the house due to trying to burn it down with us in it; she said it was a suicide attempt. Okay, whatever, maybe. Years later I find out her house burned down with her disabled daughter in it; she said it was an accident, candle or some bullshit like that. Possible conicidence, but highly unlikely. She did other things too, e.g. poured paint over every item I owned when I was around ten, slept with a knife under her pillow, etc..”
#5. Do you trust me?
“We were cleaning our guns. This guy pointed the gun at me and ask me if I trusted him. Do you think the gun is unloaded? He asked me. I could be negligent or evil and I could left a bullet in there. He pull the trigger, laugh, and carry on cleaning the gun like nothing. He thought it was funny.”
#4. He still can’t help himself.
“I’ve been long time friends with a sociopath. He is honestly like my brother. We have developed this relationship that basically treats me like his moral compass, but it doesn’t always work. He is still manipulative and cruel at times, and he does only truly care about himself, but he tries to be a good person because he doesn’t want to be an asshole.
This being said my most uncomfortable moment with him would have to be when he was telling me about watching some guy almost die. He was telling me how he knew he should have stopped watching and helped him, but he was too interested in what the outcome would be if he didn’t help. It was creepy to know that as hard as he may try to be a decent person. Sometimes he still can t help himself.”
#3. I woke up three days later.
“My sister is a sociopath, it took me a lot of years to realize this and stop rationalizing it. I’m a diabetic and have been in comas. During the last one in 2015, after a year of no contact, she showed up at the hospital saying I had expressed to her that my wishes were Do Not Resuscitate. About 12 of my friends shouted her down and I woke up 3 days later on my own. If I had coded during that time, however, there would have been a lot of grey area around if they were allowed to revive me. About 4 months later she took out a life insurance policy on me and asked me to sign it….I said no lol. I no longer speak to her.
Oh man, this blew up. I should add that I now have very clear wishes notarized and copies kept with my doctors and trusted friends. She’s not taking me out that easily!! Thank you guys for being concerned, it’s great advice for everyone in a medical situation to have just in case.”
#2. Will never forget that psycho grin on his face.
“My uncle. We found out things in bits and pieces.
My dad and he work together. He got my dad fired by saying all sorts of lies to their boss. And then pretended to be the white knight by offering him a job in another country where he’s living. Money was tight back then and we were in a lot of debt so dad agreed. He took him there, gave him work, but also made him a slave to his wife and kids who also lived there. Dad was expected to cook food, wash the dishes, clean up the dining table after uncle’s family ate and then eat himself. Yeesh. Dad didn’t tell us until much later. According to the rules set by uncle, he wasn’t to contact us often, should mind his own damn business even if his daughter didn’t turn up home all night, and keep his mouth shut about work. Dad was miserable there and we couldn’t do much because, again, that job was a welcome relief to us. Uncle, meanwhile, would come every night to our home, have breakfast and dinner that my mom generously cooked because his family was abroad, while bitching about my dad in front of us. One day I had finally reached my breaking point and I started crying because I felt horrible for dad who was trying so hard to make things right for us. Uncle just sat opposite to me smiling. GODDAMN SMILING. Will never forget that psycho grin on his face. Days later dad suddenly turned up unannounced at home. Turns out he’d been dumped by uncle to our city without prior notice. Dad had no guts to tell us what happened.
We realised uncle was a psychopath later. He’d routinely mentally torture people and enjoy their misery while pretending to offer sympathies and help. He’s in a powerful spot so he offers his victims jobs. Once they accept, he makes them entirely dependent on him. He’d them put his victims under even more psychological stress be it threatening to cut off ties or getting them fired if they disagreed with him. My dad was really messed up for days. He’d swing from utter despair to not speaking for days to extreme violence to absolutely broken. Got beaten up a bit for trying to calm him down. Dad could finally regain his mental sanity after we cut off all ties to that uncle. Last we heard, he wants to contact my dad because they’re brothers and people realised what a piece of shit he is so they avoid him too. Dad’s like oh hell naw.”
#1. It clicked.
“I’m an ex-friend of a sociopath.
I think it was when we were hanging out and we started arguing about me going to his house. I had left my wallet there and I told him this and told him we needed to go back so I could get it.
He then started claiming that his parents didn’t like me and didn’t want me at his house. He said since they weren’t home that would just make it worse. I just kept saying I need my damn wallet and that he could get it for me. He proceeded to call me selfish and a monster for arguing with him. Like he yelled it in my face at in a public area. I was shocked and had nothing to say.
Then he proceeded to act like nothing happened. Asking me if we should get food, etc.
I eventually got my wallet back from him. He didn’t spend any money of mine or anything, but needless to say we aren’t friends anymore.
Honestly I didn’t even consider him a sociopath until telling my therapist about how he manipulated me into thinking everything was my fault and how me being better mentally was never enough. She basically told me straight up he’s a sociopath and it clicked. He used me just to fill his ego.”
Keep your friends close and all of that…