Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to bond with a new baby. It’s also a way to feel like a cow, spend months covered in spots of leaking fluid, and to never get a break from your new bundle of joy.
Also, people have a lot of opinions on breastfeeding. They’ll share them with you whether you want them to or not. Whether you care or not.
Whether you master your death stare or not.
For me, the experience was worth it, but that doesn’t mean every last one of these tweets didn’t make me want to fist bump the mom who wrote it.
15. Too, too real those first several months.
People: “All you post about is breastfeeding.”
Me: “… All I do is breastfeed.”
— Ohio Momma 🤱🏼 (@ClevelandMomma) September 11, 2019
14. Yep. And the latter category are relegated to the back of the closet, because ain’t nobody got time for that.
My clothes are divided into ones I can easily pop a boob out of and ones I can't. #breastfeedingprobs
— opinionated mama (@OpinionatedMomm) August 12, 2013
13. I now have a mental image I can’t erase.
ever wondered how nipple piercings worked with breastfeeding? lol funny story.
— CJB (@CandiceJanine) August 11, 2019
12. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.
— Amy Amerson (@Amy_Amerson) June 21, 2014
11. Just go ahead and embrace it.
Co-worker: you seem to have spilled something on your shirt.
Me: *looks down* nah I'm just leaking.
Co-worker: oh. Oh do you want to v borrow my sweater.
— Messy bun mama (@NotYoMama9) September 7, 2018
10. My husband definitely would have fought him on it.
My son just grabbed my boob and said "Mine". I wanted to fight him on it, but he's basically right.#breastfeedingproblems
— Mom (@OhThatMomGlow) October 12, 2018
9. It’s like they don’t understand nourishing themselves.
Baby is playing the "how far away can I get from mommy and still eat" game. There are no winners. #breastfeeding
— Mom Secret Attack (@momsecretattack) July 16, 2016
8. And mama wants chocolate, so it all works out.
3-year-old: *hands my breastfeeding wife a Hershey's bar*
Wife: Well, thank you. What's this for?
3: The baby wants chocolate milk.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 5, 2015
7. Obviously wise beyond his or her years.
7-year-old upon learning I am pregnant: "It's the breastfeeding that will get ya. Breastfeeding is killer."
— Rachel Held Evans (@rachelheldevans) October 21, 2015
6. It really is a sad state of affairs. #RIPmyboobs
Trying on a bra while nursing:(.)(.)
"OMG. Look at my BOOBS!!!"
Trying on a bra after nursing:[.][.]
"OMG. Look at my boobs."
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) November 3, 2015
5. I mean, I sort of think it’s funny?
Pro tip: Avoid singing “Your milkshake brings all the babies to the yard” when discussing breastfeeding with your pregnant wife. They don’t think it’s funny.
— Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) May 3, 2018
4. If you’ve ever had an oversupply, this tweet is for you.
I'm pretty sure I just waterboarded my daughter. #Breastfeedingproblems
— Ashley Leggat (@AshleyLeggat) April 28, 2017
3. It happens to the best of them, especially when Mama eats Mexican food.
— Maybe I'll Shower Today (@BloggerGail) March 25, 2016
2. You lasted an entire hour?
Ate a giant lunch an hour ago. Currently dying of starvation. #breastfeedingprobs
— Whitney Fox (@_whitneyfox) May 10, 2016
1. This was a true nightmare with my second.
Still can't believe nobody's ever made a horror movie about breastfeeding a teething baby.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) September 16, 2017
Solidarity to all of the nursing moms out there, all of the moms who wanted to but couldn’t make it happen, and to all of the moms who decided, for whatever reason, breastfeeding wasn’t for them.
You’re all amazing.
Did you nurse your kids? Do you care whether other people do? Let us know your thoughts on these hilarious takes in the comments!