People ask dumb questions – I don’t care what the old adage says. And it seems as if some professions (largely in the arena of customer service) seem to lend themselves to more than the average.
These 15 people, however, really take the cake.
#15. That darn faulty wireless
“Long time ago now…
Got a call that a user’s laptop was dead and wouldn’t power on.
I go and check it out. Press the button, no life. Plug it into the power, it starts charging. Press the button, it boots just fine.
The user wasn’t plugging the laptop into power because she “thought we had wireless”
#14. That’s not how any of this works
“I used to work as a bank teller. A lady came up to me and asked to withdraw money. I informed her that she couldn’t withdraw money, because her account was overdrawn. She was immediately upset, so I had her account checked for fraud. She then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn’t expecting any payments. She was spending money she knew she didn’t have.
She then asked me why we couldn’t just give her more money.”
#13. More light, please
“Can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter? (While pointing at a projector and screen setup.) She seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter as if the projection was some sort of moving painting.”
#12. Potential time traveler
“C: How much is this?
Me: 50c, like the sticker says.
C: And this one?
Me: $1. All the items have labels on them with how much they cost.
C: Oh is that what those mean? That’s clever.
(Not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice. I pressed slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels.)”
#11. Open it, please
“I used to work in computer sales and repairs. Had a customer come up who was maybe 23 years old saying she couldn’t get her laptop to open something. So I take it, and open it and casually ask, “What is it you cant get open?” She looks at me shocked as I open the laptop screen and tells, “I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR HOURS TO GET IT TO OPEN HOWD YOU DO THAT??” I look at her not knowing how to respond and close it and open it again. She takes it and walks out saying thank you. I took a long look at my computer I was working on and decided that this was the moment that made me quit that job.”
#10. Password fail
“I get too many dumb questions to remember them all. Here’s a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday. When sending confidential documentation, we would encrypt it and put a password on it. It’s common practice to send the document and the password in two separate e-mails. I got a message from this guy saying he couldn’t open the document I sent him.
Me: “Did you use the password?”
Client: “Yes. It said there was an error.”
Me: “What password did you use?”
Client: “I just hit OK and it said that I had the wrong password.”
Me: “Wait.. so did you type anything in?”
Client: “Well no.”
Me: “Could you use the password that we provided you?”
Client: “I didn’t think it would work so I deleted the e-mail.”
#9. The real world
“Selling paint. Woman wants to paint her fence. I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface. She then asks:
“Do I need anything to apply the paint?”
I’m like “Yeah a roller or a brush…”
She’s like “Oh, I can just splash the paint on the fence?”
She was dead serious.
Woman, this is not Looney Tunes, this is the real world!”
“A co-worker at a video store asked ‘Does this calculator do math?'”
#7. A Willy Wonka world
“I worked at Kinkos and on 3 separate occasions different people angrily asked me why I returned their faxed document to them. They thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient.”
#6. Get a real job
“While towing his car to a dealership, “So what do you do for a living?”
He was serious. He assumed I had another job because I didn’t fit the Billy Bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers.”
#5. You keep using that word…
“A group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day. Before I opened my mouth to let them know, one says ‘we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how “reserved” it is?'”
#4. Nipples or ticks?
“Vet tech. A lot of people think their dog’s nipples are ticks. A lot. One man even pulled a “but he’s a boy!” on us.”
#3. A monumental job
“I work at a famous monument and I kid you not I’ve had people ask me whether we take it down at the end of each day, or whether it’s been rearranged since they last visited.”
#2. Because, physics
I used to work in a call centre for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said the queue was too big so he wanted me to help him. I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash. I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said “Why can’t you just fax it to me?”
#1. A free bookstore
“Library. Once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date. She looked at her friend, then back at me, and said, shocked, “You mean I have to bring the books BACK?””