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15 People Share the Dumbest Things They’ve Done While They Were Under the Influence

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People do a lot of weird/stupid/crazy things when they’re high on drugs. And a lot of funny things. And a lot of ridiculous things.

You get the picture.

AskReddit users were brave enough to admit the weirdest things they did while they were high.

1. You did your best.

“I was fucked up looking for my hotel in Atlantic City. Somehow got there and woke up the next morning to just ‘hotel’ being in the search bar of my spotify. That was my best effort.”

2. Am I allowed to leave?

“Got up to leave my bedroom and knocked on the door before opening it to go out.”

3. A role reversal.

“Went to let the dog out and I walked out instead and left my dog inside.”

4. WTF am I doing?

“One time years ago I was camping at a campground with my wife and a few friends, we’re all sitting around the fire drinking. Her brother and I go for a walk to smoke some joints. We finish that and I have to piss so he goes back to the group, and when I’m done I head back as well.

So I get back and I’m pretty baked at this point and I’m just standing there watching the fire and drinking my beer for a few minutes. I then noticed a particular Coleman lantern on the picnic table and thought to myself, ‘I don’t remember us having one of those here’.

It was at that point that I realized I was standing at the wrong damned campsite, amongst a bunch of people I have never met, while my group was watching from the next site over, laughing and wondering wtf I was doing.”

5. So proud…

“Eating yoghurt with a fork in front of my parents. My dad waited for about 10 minutes to say that a spoon might make it easier.”

6. Probably the best place you can go when high.

“Went to White Castle to get food for everyone after we smoked. We all had the same order, two double cheese sliders and an order or mozzarella sticks. When I gave her my order I didn’t just say that I wanted 8 double cheese sliders in total, I repeated the two double cheese sliders and mozzarella sticks 4 times.

By the time I got to the end of my order the cashier sounded so defeated. I still cringe thinking back to that moment, but it’s also one of my funniest smoke stories.”

7. No more ciggies.

“A few years ago I was on shrooms with some friends and we went on a walk to smoke a cig. Every time I took a puff of my cigarette, I was expecting to taste Mountain Dew and I was disappointed every time that it didn’t. I quit smoking cigs a few days after that!”

8. I’m a genius!

“Was watching a korean drama when I had a whole freak out when I realized “Holy shit!! I suddenly understand korean!” I woke my bf up and made him watch with me as I translated for him. He laughed at me for 5 minutes before he told me I was just actually just reading the subtitles.”

9. Where could they be?

“Spent 45 mins looking for my glasses with my friend. Said fuck it bc I had to leave and was now running late. When I went to put on my sunglasses I smashed them onto my glasses.

I had my glasses on my fucking face the whole time and neither myself or my friend noticed.”

10. Wait a second…

“Ordered food for delivery. Forgot. Went to grocery store for stuff to BBQ. Remembered about the food for delivery while paying in line.”

11. Sorry, my bad.

“Freaked out that I’d lost my ipod somewhere on the way to the train station. I got off the train and went back, retracing my steps all the way back to my apartment.

Only to realize that I was listening to music the whole time… on my ipod.”

12. Sounds like quite a night.

“Some girls in high school invited me to go smoke and swim in a creek with them. Of course I went to got high as f*ck. Spent the next 30 minutes sitting in the creek, I was so still that a fish came up and bit my ass. I didn’t realize what I was doing until one of the girls ask me why the fuck I was all alone sitting in the middle of a creek not moving.”

13. Didn’t get hauled in.

“I was on acid at a music festival and asked a cop if he would name a hurricane after me.

Fortunately he thought that was funny.”

14. Time well spent.

“Walked up to the bathroom mirror with a flashlight, shined it on my eyes and studied the color patterns of my eyes for about 20 minutes straight. And singing loudly at the same time.”

15. We have a winner!

“I set a hot pocket in the microwave and put in my pin number for the cook time.”