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15 People Share Their Small Town’s Most Recent Scandals

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I lived in a small town until I was 10 years old when my family moved away, and I remember that everyone there seemed to know everyone else’s business.

Because that’s how it works in small towns. A lot of gossip, a lot of drama – and when a scandal hits, everyone knows about it.

Here are the latest small town scandals according to AskReddit users.

1. A criminal from the big city.

“A few days ago, Amber Alert sent out an emergency message about a fellow in a green car who had stabbed his girlfriend and stolen their baby out of San Jose, which is 3 hours north of us. Lo and behold, the guy was caught right at our own downtown gas station when the kidnapper accidently locked the baby and his keys in his car, which drew attention to him.

A good samaritan from an entirely different town, (a tourist), put the puzzle together, and put the guy in a headlock until the authorities arrived.”

2. On the loose.

“My small town includes a pretty large zoo and a tapir has recently escaped and is still at large.”

3. Holy sh*t.

“The school gym teacher was fired after being caught masturbating in the equipment room (he was caught by two students). A few days later he killed himself. Everyone is a bit shaken up about it.”

4. He seems really smart.

“A substitute teacher at the high school started smoking a joint in class in front of students.”

5. An epidemic.

“Terrible heroin epidemic. Brother’s best friend who was fairly close to our family overdosed a few days ago. My brother only has maybe 2 childhood friends left because of this.”

6. Damn kids…

“We don’t know who but someone has been going around egging random cars and throwing full water bottles at people’s windshields…”

7. That’s pretty bad.

“Our newly elected mayor (who is a school teacher as well) caused a head-on car crash injuring 2 small children in the other car. She was found to be drunk and it was 330 pm on a weekday. The kicker: she wasn’t charged with a crime (as of yet) but she did resign after “considerable thought.””

8. Meth lab?

“A vacant house exploded and no one is sure what caused it.”

9. Naked bandits.

“My grandparents small town has had a recent outbreak of teenagers riding horses through the middle of downtown, while wearing nothing but facemasks. It has happened a total of three times now, always different kids, always different horses.”

10. This is amazing.

“I left my small town years ago but I was home over thanksgiving and got an earful.

The local grocery store was renovated/expanded after 30 years and now “everything’s moved and you can’t find nothing”.

I was home for four days and literally every new social interaction with people in town involved the goddam grocery store and how awful it is now.

Spoiler: it actually looks quite nice and they hang signs over the aisles telling you where things are. You know, like a grocery store.”

11. Banned!

“The guy thats been trolling our town’s community Facebook page finally got banned. LOL.”

12. Oh My God.

“Not really recent, but the owner of the petting zoo turned out to be a serial murderer and buried 2 corpses under the goat enclosure. A lot of kids volunteer there and walked over them unknowingly. He murdered the couple, and used their house, car and money.”

13. Always the same.

“The scandal in my town is always the same… Someone is sleeping with someone else’s husband… Or the 50 year old dating the 18 year old…”

14. Kissin’ cousins.

“Two cousins just got married. The families all knew when they started dating and didn’t say a word until they were in a committed relationship. They went ahead with it. Wasn’t even very distant.”

15. Not a big fan.

“A married resource officer (aka cop that’s at the school all day) messed around with a married teacher. Both had kids, the teacher was fired, and the cop was pulled off of that duty. Nothing that interesting in its own, but it’s been the talk of the town for about a month.

This is the same town where everyone stares at you if they don’t recognize you. Dealt with that the first 2-3 years I lived here, just constant fucking staredowns lol. Population is less than 700.

I hate small towns.”