Our society tends to scoff at male bonding and fellowship, implying that intimacy is inherently female, which is simply not true. Men are just as capable of experiencing non-sexual, intimate moments with their male friends.
Men on AskReddit revealed their most intimate non-sexual moments they shared with another guy. Hopefully it’ll help even more guys open up and get real with their bro-friends.
“My fraternity brother/ roommate was having a bad day, we were all drinking but he clearly had the most and texted an ex, so I brought him back to our room to keep an eye on him. He got real sad and started crying, except he was insecure about his masculinity so he would cry for a few minutes about how he felt around other guys, then deny that he felt like that and this cycle would repeat every five minutes. Finally I broke through to him that feeling like this was completely fine and actually good (better acknowledging than hiding it).
I held him in my arms while he wept for about half an hour. He kept trying to push back because his every instinct was telling him that this wasn’t ok, but I just shushed him and rubbed his back as I held him. He eventually calmed down and went to bed. That happened two weeks ago and we haven’t talked about it yet, but I’m glad he trusted me, and hope he seeks me out if he’s feeling that ways again.”
“It was my dads birthday. Went to the city for dinner. He sent me and my neighbor (who came to dinner with us) to get the car from the parking garage. It was raining so we were running. As were running through the streets of manhattan in the dark, lightning struck and thunder boomed. We simultaneously say “I love that” look at each other and keep running in the rain.
That night, a bromance was formed.”
3. Never spoke of it again
“I was at my buddy’s house hanging out. He had just taken a shower, dressed, and come out to the living room where I was watching tv. His hair looked odd so I grabbed his brush and started brushing it. For whatever reason I started channeling a French salon owner. I brushed it into different styles and we were both having a laugh.
His dad walked in the room and we immediately acted as if we were doing something terribly wrong. We hurriedly departed and never spoke of it again.”
4. A good friend
“My mom attempted suicide years ago. She was hospitalized for a month. I thought I could handle it but a week or two after it happened, I got into a fight with my girlfriend at a party and started crying. I couldn’t stop. I totally unraveled in a friends kitchen. My best friend put me in his car and we drove around while I sobbed uncontrollably. I’ve never been more emotionally unstable.
He didn’t talk, he just drove around. Then he dropped me off at home. I felt so much better. He never even brings it up to this day.”
5. New friends
“I broke up with my first serious girlfriend after 4 years and an engagement. She had been cheating and it was a messy end.
18 months later, we had managed to stay apart but I was having dreams about her. I was having lunch with my best friend and he asked me about it. I told him I had been having dreams where I was pleading with her to acknowledge me, that I meant something, that she loved me. I would wake up weeping, and in telling this, started crying lightly at the table. He asks what I miss most, I mention the jokes, the places we went.
He takes a breath and says: “It sounds like as much as you miss her as your girlfriend, you miss the friend she was, too.”
Never dreamed or thought of her much again. Made some new friends.”
“I was on a trip with a buddy. He’s an avid climber. The mountain we climbed together with the guide was waaaay over my skill level but we couldn’t tell till half way up. It was sheer ice. My buddy had paid a lot to be on this trip and I after doing some glacier climbing was invited along by the guide for free.
Twice I froze in terror. Clinging to the side of the mountain with just axes and my crampons and tethered to my best friend and then the guide and then the ice anchor. I couldn’t move. It was a combination of exhaustion and fear. I wept my buddy never once grew frustrated even though I was definitely fucking up his trip. He stayed calm and just said:
“Buddy you aren’t going to fall because we won’t let you fall. Even if you do you are attached to me and I sure as shit will never let you fall. After that I’m attached the the guide. He’s attached to the mountain. You are safer now than you are in your car everyday. Now breathe and swing that f*cking axe as hard as you can above you and start moving.
I did it. After 10 hours we reached the summit for the most earned view of my life. I hugged my childhood friend. We repelled down the other face in the dark with head lamps. I had no fear. I felt alive. He’ll forever be my brother.”
“A few years ago my plastered-drunk friend was too sauced to function and he threw up all over himself. Being his friend and roommate I helped him get cleaned up. Only problem was he kept refusing to take a shower. He was only interested in taking a bath (in hindsight it was safer and easier). So this f*cker gets completely nude and hops in the tub filling with cold water.
Almost immediately he’s screaming for my help, shivering by the time I’m in the bathroom. I fix the water and he starts crying saying he is “soooooo hu-hu-hungry.” So I go grab some saltine crackers and began to feed my naked friend in the bathtub.
So there’s that.”
8. Spoon session
“My best friend had muscular dystrophy. I’d been both his main bud for over ten years (all of which were past his life expectancy) and had to help him go to the bathroom, set up breathing machines, feed him, etc. All out of necessity and love at the same time.
When it became evident that his end was near, we refused to talk about it. I moved in with his family for a while just to be there with him, but we never discussed in words what was was going to happen…just kept hanging out as we always did.
One night, after about a week of getting up the courage to broach the subject, I asked him if he was afraid of dying. He said not at all, and that he was glad that I would finally be free of the burden of having to take care of him. This broke both of us.
This obviously was waaaay too much for either of us to handle and I laid in bed with him and we cried for what seemed like hours. We went over everything we needed to cover our feelings and our fears (and some logistics concerning certain things he wanted me to keep hidden from his mom).
He passed about a month after that, and after ten years since, I still wish I could go back and and lay down with him and hold him and cry and tell him how much I love him and miss him.
Best bro spoon session I’ll ever have.”
9. Bubble bath
“My friend got really super drunk and decided to take a bath with his clothes on. I, being the less drunk one, stayed in the bathroom to make sure he didn’t like drown or something. He ended up inviting me to join him.
Two bros, fully clothed, drunk, in a bubble bath at 2am.”
“My best friend passed from a brain tumor when we were both 19.
About 1 week prior to his passing, he was not remembering very much and he was continually eating without (due to the steroids and pain meds, I believe) going to the bathroom very often. He consumed way to much food over the course of a morning, around lunch he started vomiting in the most absurd projectile vomit stream you could ever imagine. 20 seconds of a stream the size of a fire hose going all over him, the couch, some on me and very little in the bowl I ran to grab him. The worst part was when it was done, and we were covered in vomit. He didn’t know who threw up or where it came from.
I picked him up, covered in vomit and carried him to the shower. He was embarrassed for his mom or any girls seeing him naked for some reason with vomit on him. I undressed him, and bathed him myself. Helped him soap, shampoo, dry and dress. It was the last time I felt he even knew who I was.
I miss you Ben.”
“Me and my friend used to masturbate next to each other when we were about 12yo, we did it several times and never spoke of it ever again. We just sat there chatting about random stuff while masturbating furiously. Weird.”
“Not ONE clue why, but when me and my best friend were like 8ish, we were at one of my dad’s late men’s league hockey games. We never watch the games and just kind of explored and messed around looking for stuff to do. Well we found out some of the empty locker rooms were open and lights off. Perfect to explore as a kid right?
Well we explored more than i remember why. We casually bumped into each other in the middle of the dark room and our curiosity’s must have sparked. We started to just……rub up against each other and like dry hump each other. That went on for about 15 seconds when we both kind of snapped out of it at the same time. Still don’t know what triggered that kind of sexual eruption, but i have been trying to figure it out since.”
13. Well, that’s nice
“Had a friend say to me while I was feeling pretty down about myself and my looks that he would f**k me if I was a woman.”
14. A nice view
“A couple of years ago I went up to visit my friend in Minneapolis. His apartment was located right across the street from a music festival, so we hung out on his lawn drinking all day and enjoying free live music.
Later on that night we went out for a cigarette and started walking around his neighborhood. What started as a short cigarette walk ended up being a longer excursion as we made our way past the house into some forest area near some train tracks. It was really cool for me being able to see more stars than I was used to seeing back in Chicago and actually being able to walk from the city into nature.
We kept hiking and ended up next to a lake. He asked if I wanted to go swimming and I was like yeah, so we ended up skinny dipping in the lake. I hadn’t been swimming in a long time so it was especially fun for me and it was so awesome to swim at night with a cool view of the city across the lake.
It was such a beautiful view and night that we didn’t realize we were ruining the intimate moment of another couple too. While we were just two naked drunk dudes swimming in the lake by the moonlight, there was a couple on the shore that was trying to have a romantic picnic, complete with wine and a blanket. We thought we were alone until I saw them, but it’s funny to think how it was to see that from the couple’s viewpoint. One minute it’s a really romantic night, then out of nowhere two naked guys run screaming at the water.”
15. He needed it
“Talking another guy out of suicide. He just needed someone to listen. We hugged for a solid 30 seconds and he sobbed into my chest. Awkward looking back, but in the moment he needed it.”