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15 “Warning Labels” People Would Give Themselves

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I wish everyone came with a warning label. You know, a nice clear message pinned to their shirt reading misogynist, misanthrope, potential rapist, or emotionally unavailable – that could have saved me some time and trouble. If everyone did, though, what would yours say?

While you think about that, check out what these 13+people came up with for themselves.

#15. Extreme pressure.

“Contents under extreme pressure.”

#14. Upsetting the introvert.

“Warning: If you are close enough to read this, you are upsetting the introvert.”

#13. Possibly toxic.

“Possibly toxic.

Not suitable for children”

#12. Just sad.

“Warning: will make jokes about traumatic childhood that aren’t really that funny, just sad.”

#11. The standard.

“The standard: “CAUTION: Does NOT play well with others!”

#10. Overanalyzing everything.

“Warning: May seem laid back, but is really over analyzing everything.”

#9. A known hazard.

“WARNING: This person contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, or other reproductive harm.”

#8. Fragile.

“Fragile: handle with care”

#7. High amounts of salt.

“May contain cripplingly low self esteem and high amounts of salt.”

#6. Don’t take it seriously.

“Warning: don’t take anything the sarcastic asshole says seriously.”

#5. Small parts.

“HAZARD – small parts”

#4. Not suitable.

“Allergy Warning:

Contains NUTS

Not suitable for nut and or sesame allergy sufferers due to the methods used in the manufacture of this human.”

#3. Do not use.

“Warning- do not use as a projectile in a catapult”

#2. And by ‘may,’ I mean ‘does.’

“may contain alcohol”

#1. May cause headaches.

“Warning: May cause headaches

I had a chemist show physical signs of pain when I refereed to Oxygen as “H0O2″.”