There Are Kosher Sex Toys Made Just For Jews
Are you an Orthodox Jew seeking extrastimulation between the sheets? Spice up your marriage with Kosher Sex Toys, a new website that offers the finest (and least expensive) sex toys on the market, and without any of that provocative imagery or vulgar language you find on those goy sex toy sites. Koshersextoys.net has everything from “Male Genital Desensitizer” to lubricant launchers with narrow injectors that make it “easy to lubricate the hard to reach places.” Oh, and glass dildos as low as $18.99! Actually, these are pretty good deals.
The #2 question on the site’s FAQ (after “What on earth is KosherSexToys.net?”) is “Do you have good prices?” And compared to Babeland, it seems these suckers are priced to move. But unfortunately, comparison shopping is challenging for kosher consumers. As the site explains, “Because we often do not use the manufacturer’s product name—which many times is crude or vulgar—you may have trouble doing comparison shopping. You can take us at our
word that we are providing you with a quality product at a competitive price.”
The Post asked Orthodox Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of the book “Kosher Sex,” what he thought of the website, and he gave quite a vivid answer: “The greatest misconception in pop culture is that religious people are pious in bed. In fact, Orthodox Jewish couples are taught, once they get engaged, to have phenomenal, shout-out-loud, swinging-from-the-chandelier sex.” Thank you for that, Rabbi, but one question remains: Can they use the battery-powered vibrators on Shabbos? Or do they need a Shabbos Goy to come turn it on for them?