Some friends are for a season and some are for a life. But sometimes it’s hard to know why friends can be that way. We change, they change, or sometimes just circumstances change.
Take a look at these 26 Reddit users who share stories of losing their best friends, sometime for very good reason, sometimes for no reason at all.
1. Drinking doesn’t make it better
I lost my friends when my son died. Instead of being supportive, they harassed me to come out drinking, or go to the bar. Like I had just been through a breakup and needed to go out. No, literally 24 hours ago I buried my baby in the ground.
2. Just Jealous
I set a good girl friend up with a close guy friend. Then he started cheating on her, so I told her the truth. When she finally confronted him, his actually replied with:
“Don’t listen to her. She’s just jealous. Just played matchmaker to get closer to me.”
The worst part? She believed him. So did my circle of friends on her side and his side.
I never quite got over that.
3. Nowhere to go from here
When I realized the only thing we had in common was the past. That sucked.
4. Moms’ club
She had a baby, and then one day we were having lunch and she told me “You know, I only want to hang out with other moms from now on.” I didn’t quite get the hint, but she ignored all my texts and emails for a few months and I finally realized what she was trying to tell me back there.
My best friend ghosted on me. We met in 3rd grade and were thick as thieves until I went to college. While I can recognize I wasn’t the greatest friend always, it was 100% her choice to stop being my friend. I admit- it still hurts nearly a decade later. I never got closure, and I doubt I ever will. I’m not sure she has thought out why or would give me the honest truth if I asked. She should have been my maid of honor, and it makes me really sad when I think of that. I try to remind myself that she caused drama for me- she was really passive aggressive and wouldn’t talk to me when I did something to bother her. She also never opened up to me about anything bothering her in other aspects of her life. I don’t need that back in my life.
But I do miss the great times we had- all the inside jokes, the way we knew what was on each other’s minds- we absolutely killed at the game taboo! – and I have never gotten that close with anyone again. But I did read a really beautiful sentiment recently, which I will try to capture here. The people you have in your life grow and occupy space in the tapestry that makes up your life. When they are gone, it makes a hole where they used to be. The memories and love are still there and may always be there. So don’t look at your tapestry as filled with holes- look at it as your own unique lace pattern. The pattern isn’t over, but it is constantly changing. The pain of loss doesn’t ever really go away, but it does lessen over time.
Walked in on him moments after he was finished having sex with my (now ex) girlfriend in my room
Karma was nice though: he blew out his knee and can no longer play his sport professionally, I lost a lot of weight, and she found most of it.
7. I’m sorry – cat abuse?
His drug using girlfriend who was on probation stole $300 from me and abused my cat. My former friend refused to believe she could do such a thing and got pissed off at me about it. We’d been friends for 20+ years.
Let him move in because of issues at his home. Started missing money and found used syringes IN MY SHOES.
9. Anger Management
She flipped and went super saiyan because I had the audacity to make plans with another friend, and invite her. Instead of making plans with her first then inviting my other friend. She then pinned me to a chair and started screaming in my face. Thats the day I fired my maid of honour, and booted her from my life. She then smashed my car window that night.
10. Du-ally noted
I fired him. Not as my friend – I employed him to help him out, and ended up needing to let him go. He wants nothing to do with me now.
Don’t work with friends.
Long story short: I love the guy, I wish we saw each other more often, but he’s the flakiest, most unreliable person I know. He treats everyone like they’re barely worth his time. Make plans with the guy and it’s a coin toss whether he’ll even show up. I’ve known him for 10 years and it’s only gotten worse, but I learned long ago that it’s a waste of time to chase him.
Got invited to his wedding, all night long I heard about how awesome the Bachelor’s party had been and asked why I hadn’t come along – because I wasn’t invited or told about it.
13. Buh bye
We grew apart. I needed emotional support during a very tough time and she wasn’t interested in helping, so I ended it.
You know what they say about how you don’t always burn your bridges, but rather let them fall apart due to structural decay? That’s pretty much it.
15. Booty call
Because she calls me on the phone every few months when she’s alone and has had a few beers. that’s pretty much eliminated the need for other conversation. I messaged her a story about an interesting and relevant event in my life today and she ignored it.
16. Then she doesn’t
“I feel she doesn’t want to talk to me… what would happen if I stop initiating conversations?”
Many months later, haven’t heard a single word from her.
17. When I needed her most
My best friend from high school fell off the face of the earth when I needed her most, I had a precancerous tumor and had to have surgery. I was terrified and she wasn’t there for me. It didn’t make any sense.
Almost a year after we stopped speaking, a mutual friend informed me that her father had just lost his battle to cancer (I had no idea he had it). She wasn’t there for me because she had to be there for her father, and I then understood that she probably couldn’t emotionally handle both situations at the same time. It was then when I decided I would take a chance and attend the wake.
I was so nervous when I got there because I hadn’t seen her in over a year, but when I walked in and she saw me, she immediately burst into tears and gave me the biggest hug. To this day, that moment was one of the best I ever experienced. I got my friend back. A year and a half after that, I was the maid of honor at her wedding.
I know not every situation turns out as well as mine, and I’m sure there are people who bail because they simply don’t care, but in my case all it took was a bold effort by me and it worked out in the end.
She’d only really message me if she wanted something.
If she was down I’d try my best but if I was upset it was ‘oh I’m really not in the right place right now, talk later’ which is fair enough but I always tried to help her.
She’d also message me screenshots of the argument with her boyfriend, they’re a bad couple and my advice is always either ‘dump him’ or ‘talk it out’ which is never what she wants to hear but what am I supposed to do about it? I guess she just wants validation she’s right to be annoyed but she can be really unreasonable sometimes.
Oh and then she asks for money under some bogus pretence and then buys weed. I know I shouldn’t fall for it and I’ve stopped now but y’know.
My high school best friend got into college around six months before me (it happens in my country). She then stopped talking to me altogether. When I finally got into college, she decided it was too shameful to hangout with someone who was six months behind her. She’d still talk and go out with other friends from HS, but I was completely ignored by her.
20. Snip snip
He cut me out of his life.
He was my best friend for 15+ years. We had grown a bit apart due to different lifestyle choices, but we always spoke at least once a week and found time to spend with each other.
He was constantly talking about feeling stuck in our home town and wanting to explore the world, but worried about paying for it. About two years ago I helped him get a job with my company. It was not a very exciting job, but it paid twice as much as he was making before, so I figured it would help him save up for traveling.
About six months into the job, we were working together and got into an argument. We had fought a few times in our friendship and this did not seem any different than other times; I was over it by the time I went home.
He missed the next 2-3 days of work, then emailed our manager saying he quit. He removed me from all of his friends lists, and will not respond to phone calls, text messages, or emails. I admit I am not the easiest person to get along with at times, but after a 15 year relationship I would have liked to at least said a proper goodbye.
It has been 18 months since he’s talked to me. He was my guy and now most days I feel alone.
Her boyfriend didn’t like her hanging out with other guys, made her block me and all of her other male friends on social media. No idea if they’re still together, but she hasn’t contacted me at all since so.
22. Religion changes you
I left the mormon church. I lost many friends the moment they found out I left. I even lost a ‘christian’ friend because at least as a mormon I believed in the bible – now he doesn’t know who I am or what I believe anymore.
I have new friends now, but most of my mormon friends treat me like I’m dead.
23. Not like Britney Spears though
She was toxic. Always one-upping me, comparing us and making herself feel better about her appearance, always leaving me for other “best friends” and telling them all of my personal stuff… The list goes on.
24. ‘I forgot’
She was maid of honor in my wedding. After, I would try to make plans with her for lunch or whatever, and she always cancelled the day of. Never gave a reason just “oh I forgot I can’t, some other time”. I realized I was the only one putting in any effort so I just stopped trying to do things with her. I figured if she wanted to do something she’d get ahold of me.
I got married in July of this year, haven’t heard from her since.
25. It’s me not you
It’s the same reason I don’t speak to most people from my past. I’m got mental issues. So if I don’t see someone for a while then seeing them is very hard for me because I hate myself seeing someone who I knew in the past.
Ah, my highschool best friend. We weren’t very alike at all. “Anna” was this super bubbly and cheerful feminine girl, and I was a sarcastic pile of nerd in vaguely human form. A kind of geek-tomboy. We actually meshed pretty well, but from the get go, she was the kind of person who’d turn up to parties on the wrong day because she’d get mixed up. Her parents didn’t like me much, because I was into heathen stuff like Lord of the Rings.
Anna couldn’t form an opinion if it wasn’t exactly the same as her Dads. I remember in 2006, she argued vehemently that there was no future in I.T. because her Dad said it was a waste of time. Facts didn’t matter if her Dad didn’t like them. We stayed close until after school ended, and since our birthdays were only a week apart, we always had a combined party.
Three weeks before my eighteenth, I got tickets to a convention. I called her that day to let her know that we’d have to do separate parties. I asked if she wanted to come to the con with me. She said no, not her thing. Cool.
Literally the day my group is going, she calls to ask when she can expect us around to her place for the party and ice skating. I remind her that we’re going to the con. She loses it at me. Gets real nasty over the phone and hangs up. Calls everyone else to try to convince them to ditch the con and come to hers. They all say no. She calls my parents and tries to get them to stop me from going and tells them I’m on drugs…yeah no. Went, but the whole thing was soured by her reaction.
I don’t think she ever spoke to me again herself, but I’d often meet people in my social circles who’d treat me like trash “because of what you did to Anna.” Took ages for people to stop thinking I was a complete and utter jerk. Maybe they just grew up.