It’s about that time again…
Time to sit back, kick your feet up, crack open a cold beverage of your choice, and enjoy some hilarious tweets! Come on, you know you want to!
And I gotta tell you, these tweets really hit the spot in a major way. I’m talking about that sweet spot where your funny bone just feels like it can’t take it anymore.
We like to call it “laughter overload.”
So what do you say? Are you ready to get busy with all this funny business? Let’s check it out!
1. You’re in the wrong ‘hood.
It gets scary out there…
*sees New Balance 609s hanging on wire*
*hears faint "hi scared, I'm dad" echoing through neighborhood*
— luke [from online] (@internetluke) November 22, 2014
2. This is gonna get weird.
And I don’t think there will be a second date!
date: So what do you do?
me: *pulls out stuffed fox* I'm a taxidermist
date: Oh wow
fox: and a ventriloquist
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) April 28, 2015
3. Hahahah. I really hope he said that.
I have my fingers crossed on this one.
"So terribly sorry to hear of your ninety and nine problems." pic.twitter.com/S2zxEAhicd
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) December 9, 2014
4. Oh, NOW it’s not a contest?
When did that happen?
[losing badly in a contest]
guys its not a contest
— dan chamberlain (@amfmpm) November 18, 2015
5. Your body is a temple.
But I never said what kind of temple…
My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) October 21, 2012
6. You clearly read the book.
Did that pick-up line work?
[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye]
"Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) June 1, 2014
7. Soaking wet carrots.
They’re always like that, aren’t they?
Baby carrot inventor: ok so the idea is we make tiny little carrots
Baby carrot inventor: BUT we make sure they are always soaking wet
Investor: you’ve got yourself a deal
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) November 16, 2020
8. Can I get some foregiveness?
That would sure be nice?
pls forgive my student loans. they didn't mean to
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) November 16, 2020
9. He’ll totally think you’re paying attention.
Just trust us on this one…
pro tip: if a man ever wants you to watch one of his boring man movies with him you don’t even have to pay attention just turn to him and go “holy shit” every time the music gets really loud
— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 15, 2020
10. Sure, you were…
And so was I…
gyms closing again???? I was about to start next week fr this time 🙄 pic.twitter.com/e9ZzW0sSbd
— Danae 🧚🏼♀️✨ (@_daannaaee) November 17, 2020
11. Pick out a new weekly outfit, okay?
And yes, you’ll get 7 full days out of it.
It's Sunday. Everyone remember to change into a new outfit for the week.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) November 15, 2020
Now it’s your turn!
Have you seen any hilarious tweets lately that you really loved?
If the answer is YES, please share them with us in the comments.
Thanks in advance!