We want to help you out during these trying times and the best way we know how to…with funny tweets!
Yeah, that’s right!
We could all use a little break from reality and we think these gems from very funny people on Twitter will hit the funny bone in exactly the right spot.
Let’s dive in and get our laugh on!
1. I think it’s safe to say you’re getting a divorce.
But it was totally worth it!
Therapist: What's wrong?
Me: If I do the Borat voice once more, I'll be getting a divorce
Therapist: And who told you that?
Me: *tearfully clears throat*
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) April 30, 2018
2. That was a close call.
Good thing Vader is a quick thinker, huh?
BUILDING INSPECTOR: what's this called
DARTH VADER: the death—
[inspector's eyes look up from his clipboard]
DARTH VADER: uh the health star
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) October 15, 2015
3. It’s like a drug deal.
A delicious, delicious drug deal…
Me: *quickly flips through each layer of a Big Mac like a wad of cash*
McDonald's employee: [nervously assuring me] it's all there I swear.
— Little Greenis (@DurtMcHurtt) April 3, 2016
4. Hahahahah. Wow.
It’s like a scene straight out of The Sopranos.
I sent youse two to whack that freakin' guy and instead youse screwed it up like a couple of pic.twitter.com/njabNwIPO3
— DC Pierson (@DCpierson) August 18, 2018
5. I’m on board with this.
Enough with the $15 sandwiches!
my post-art plan is opening a grilled cheese cart. it will serve $1 grilled cheese made with white bread, bulk cheese, bulk butter, and thats it. greasy as hell. no options, no artisan, nothing. there will be no change. you give me $5 youre getting 5, you figure your own life out
— Daniel Danger (@tinymediaempire) June 7, 2019
6. Ohhh, this is gonna be good!
I hope my RSVP didn’t get lost in the mail.
"Webster's Dictionary defines 'Susan' as 'Not my real mom and never will be'…" – Opening line of the toast I'm giving at my dad's wedding
— Eireann Dolan (@EireannDolan) December 28, 2012
7. I think the artist nailed it!
Don’t you? I think you do, too…
they had to commission an artist to make this pic.twitter.com/qJjBoxxLAS
— Jeremy Nguyen (@jeremywins) June 15, 2020
8. We are now in another dimension.
Welcome to the future, friends.
is this Skynet pic.twitter.com/Cr9S8DpUPf
— 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘃 (@sploosk) June 18, 2020
9. It really doesn’t take that long.
Especially if you’re a total weirdo!
My favorite part of forming a connection with someone is making it awkward shortly after
— Captain Antagonist, ANTIFA Supersoldier 🧸🏴 (@AnOrangeSNES) December 31, 2018
10. Hooray for Guy Fieri!
Welcome to Flavortown, baby!
✅Famous explorer Italian-Americans can be proud of
✅ Travels world in search of spices
✅ Has never committed genocide
✅ Deserves statues of him in every city pic.twitter.com/lezvvKFNxV
— Alex Blechman (@AlexBlechman) June 12, 2020
11. That’s always very comforting.
But, where’s Luigi?
when I find myself in times of trouble
brother Mario comes to me
speaking words of wisdom "it's a me"
— Elle Maruska (they/them) (@ellle_em) August 18, 2018
12. Now, go ahead and apologize to the parasite.
How rude of you not to clean up!
[a parasite moves into my body]
me: hey sorry about the mess
— thomas (gary gulman's son) (@thombodytolove) May 14, 2020
13. I honestly had no idea…
Well, how are you gonna break the news to your friends and family?
Just failed a captcha test. Hell of a way to discover you're a robot
— Pessimus Prime Minister (@BigJDubz) October 23, 2018
Those sure hit the spot…the funny spot!
Now we want to hear from you.
In the comments, please share something funny that you’ve seen on