We don’t like to think of any parents who enjoy laughing at other parents’s predicaments to miss some of the best content on Twitter. It helps us get through the days, after all, whether we’re scrolling while we we wait for our kids to fall asleep or trying to ignore Mighty Pups as it plays for the one thousandth time.
And we think these 17 tweets are some you definitely can’t miss.
17. Your time will come, toddler parents.
You just have to wait for it wait for it.
It’s her summer break so I woke my 12 year old daughter up at 5:15 this morning. I’ve been waiting for this revenge since she was 4.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 30, 2019
16. I’m sure they’ll take it well.
Don’t you think?
My husband and I decided we don't want to have children.
We will be telling them tonight.
— Natasha (@dramadelinquent) November 11, 2019
15. A truly special moment in every man’s life.
I bet my dad felt SO SPECIAL when I was a teen.
I became a father the day my daughter was born but I didn’t become a dad until the first time she rolled her eyes at me.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 16, 2019
14. It’s a good starter list. I’m sure he’s got more.
And how do YOU know there’s no one named Jacob?
Things that made my toddler cry this week:
– I wouldn't let the dog drive him to daycare
– the bath was "too wet"
– he wanted syrup for breakfast…just syrup
– his sister "keeps looking at him"
– he wants shoes like his friend Jacob (there is no Jacob)
How about your kid?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 8, 2019
13. I definitely don’t need to be paying for a gym membership then.
I have two of them and they say uh-oh all the time.
Hearing a toddler say “uh oh” from a different room: cheaper than joining a gym and just as effective a workout
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 1, 2019
12. Times have changed, for sure.
Some for the better, but not all.
My daughter: Can I go to my friend’s house?
Me: Take your phone & text me every 20 minutes to tell me you’re ok
Me when I was 10: I’m off to the abandoned quarry with my pals
Mum: Dinner’s at 5
— joe heenan (@joeheenan) May 14, 2019
11. This list is a great start.
And also I’m stealing that the TV ran out of batteries.
Simple facts I'm terrified of my toddler discovering:
– public parks don't randomly close
– tv's don't run out of batteries
– there is no actual world record for "fastest at putting away toys"
– chicken the animal and chicken the food are one and the same
Got any to add?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 1, 2019
10. He’s not wrong.
You might want to watch your back, but he’s not wrong.
My 3 year old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me. I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I'll listen to you for the rest of YOUR life." Toddlers are cold-blooded, man.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 19, 2019
9. Just a little something to make you feel better today.
Even if just for a moment.
Sure your own kids are annoying, but have you ever met other people’s kids?
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) July 4, 2020
8. It’s best to get that out of the way.
I don’t care how old you are.
[back at work after being a stay-at-home parent for many years]
Me: alright, before this meeting starts, I want everyone to go pee. I don’t care if you don’t feel it, you need to try.
— Katie Didn't 🥜🧈 (@Pork_Chop_Hair) June 16, 2019
7. Then you definitely have to make sure your parental controls are on the television.
Because you’ve definitely lost all control otherwise.
The most important milestone is when your child learns how to use the tv remote by themselves let’s not kid ourselves here
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) November 14, 2019
6. The toddler will have their revenge.
You don’t know when or how, but it will happen.
I accidentally flushed the toilet instead of letting my kid do it which in the toddler community is a crime punishable by death.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 3, 2019
5. I’m sure deep down they’ll really miss you.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
[at my funeral]
MY KID: *leans into my coffin and whispers* can i play a game on your phone?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 11, 2019
4. Literally whatever works, right?
I love that it was Spiderman’s sensibilities that did it.
We cracked the code to potty training our daughter. Spider man underwear. It took her picking out her own Spider-Man underwear to completely potty train herself. She won’t have an accident because she “can’t go potty on Spider-Man”. I can’t believe that’s all it took lol
— sammy (@sammylynn_) November 22, 2019
3. Hey, the kid knows what he likes.
You’ve gotta admire it, really.
Just walked in the door and my 1yo's face lights up.
He comes running towards me while laughing.
I bend down with my arms wide open.
And he runs right up to the grocery bag I'm holding with Tostito chips in it and hugs it.
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) March 21, 2019
2. I thought that was the right way to communicate with the youths.
Was I wrong? I think not.
Kid, texting: MOM I’M HUNGRY!
Mom: *sends food emojis*
— evianescence (@callmeEvian) May 31, 2019
1. You’ve gotta admit it’s a fair question.
Because if not, she might need to pack one, right?
5-year-old: *puts a lightsaber in her backpack*
Me: You don't need to take that to school.
5: Will they give me one there?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 10, 2017
Tomorrow, it might be me – but today it’s not, and so I laugh!
What’s the funniest thing your kid has said or done lately? Let’s keep the laughs going in the comments!