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People Explain What You Should Never Do On A First Date

first date hold hands
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

First dates can feel trickier than they actually are.

What starts out as a memorable first encounter can quickly turn south if you put too much thought into it. At most, a first date should attempt to establish a line of connection and if there’s the chance for something more serious to occur.

Turns out, not everyone gets this and that’s where terrible first dates come from.

You’ve heard of them.

You’ve had them.

Now, hear what you can do to avoid that first date awkwardness.

Reddit user, Couch_Licker, wanted to know what to skip when they asked:

What should you NEVER do on a first date?

Put Them Away

“Be on your phone the whole time” ~ beforesunset1010

“Put it on vibrate and don’t look at it except when you go to the bathroom. I walked out on a date because she was constantly replying to messages. They did not take it well.” ~ [usernamedeleted]

“But what if it is a “let’s play Pokemon GO together” sort of date?” ~ zetta_baron

Keep It On The Present

“Only talk about your previous relationships” ~ Nevlu

“She talked about him so much I started to miss the guy” ~ 2x4x93

“Discuss any particular ex for a length of time. In my experience it’s a big red flag that they’re not over someone or carrying that baggage. And I mean everyone has baggage – it’s normal. I have some and expect the people I’ve dated in the past to have some.”

“But a first date should be about exploring each other and whether you like the person, are attracted to them, want to continue getting to know them. You can mention previous relationships but unless both parties have known each other during previous relationships – do not vent or over explain your exes.” ~ meowowomeow

Don’t Be Egg Hands

“Once had a dude grab some of my food off of my plate with his bare hands. He was trying to do a cutesy sharing food thing but it was a poached egg. He grabbed a poached egg with his bare hands right off of my plate. Please do not be like that guy.” ~ bubblebubbeleh

“I was picturing fries or something. I was not ready for the mental image of a guy trying to grab poached egg with his bare hands. Attempting to be cute or not, what part of that seemed like a good idea?” ~ themightybearorrist

Be Up Front About It, At Least

“invite your spouse. It’s just so awkward” ~ ickysam

“You think Im kidding but at least 10% of Tinder is two people looking to add someone else.” ~ Stories_for_days

Watch Your Strength, Bro

“Break her nose. My now husband hugged me the way Lenny petted rabbits.”

“He was happy to finally meet me in person after online relationship, was a virgin, and thought harder hugs mean more love. They do not.”

“He still apologizes when it’s brought up, lol.” ~ Fact_Even

“So you’re saying it worked?” ~ DunderBearForceOne


Believe In Science

“Revealing that you’re a flat earther. This serious happened to me.”

“This guy I met online seems okay. We went on a date and he started asking ‘those type of questions that make people fall in love with you’.”

“Idk if you know what I’m talking about. If that didn’t weird me out enough, he went on and claimed that we worked for NASA and they lied to everyone.”

“The earth is flat and those images we saw of earth are CGI renders. The US never landed on the moon and conspiracy sh*t like that.”

“Needless to say there was no second date.” ~ pink0205

Monitoring Your Breath

“Well, don’t do what I did: order the French onion soup.”

“This was a lunch date and I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking ordering something that both makes a mess (all that melted, stringy cheese) and gives you bad breath.”

“My wife still gives me crap about that boneheaded decision to this day.”Southern_Snowshoe

A Quiet Opening

“Go to the movies. I think going to the movies should be reserved for people in relationships.”

“Why? Because if you go to the movies on the first date you’ll practically have wasted two hours watching something, not being able to talk and get to know each other.”YogurtSocks

“Going to see a film then going for a meal after isn’t the worst option. At least then you have one thing to talk about.”

“However, the theater on its own seems silly. You can’t get to know much about a person that way.” ~ [usernamedeleted]

Keep Your Head On Straight

“Show up wasted.”

“This guy was obviously drunk or on some sort of drugs. His date was being so polite but was clearly uncomfortable.”

“Her server managed to pick up her signals and when she got up to ‘go to the bathroom’ he ushered her to our service elevator to make her getaway.”

“After about 15 minutes he let him know his date had left, he seemed surprised, then a bit upset, finally confessing that it was the second time this had happened to him this week.”

“I kind of felt sad for him in the end, dealing with addiction is tough.” ~ omgbbqpork

Have A Little Bit Of Confidence

“Don’t dump out every single unappealing thing about your life on a first date. There is plenty of time to get to know someone, and plenty of time to be honest about those things – but a first date isn’t the time for it.”

“I feel like sometimes people do this as a defense mechanism, to ‘rip off the bandaid’ and test if someone will accept them completely – but it is far too much all at once and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection.”

“As an example: on a first date, a guy disclosed to me he’s living with his parents who are homeless and refuse to move out of his apartment so almost all his income goes to them, he has zero sex drive, and he struggles with severe body image issues.”

“He also had plenty of great qualities, and if I’d had a chance to slowly get to know him we may have been able to navigate around some of that stuff… but honestly it was way too much to process all at once.”

“I also have my own family/medical/mental health sh*t to deal with too – I just didn’t dump it all on him in one day – so all I could think about was how much of his sh*t he was asking me to take on, and I didn’t even know him.”

“I ended up not accepting a second date, then watched him post about how women won’t give him a chance on social media… I felt bad because he’s a really nice guy and he’s absolutely sabotaging himself with that first date etiquette.” ~ cebogs

Know Where The Boundaries Are

“Speaking as a woman who dates men: getting offended if she doesn’t want you to pick her up/drive her home.”

“Basic safety there and you look like a creep even if you were just trying to be nice. Offering is fine– but don’t push.” ~ catmos

Something To Be Proud Of?

“Reveal your collection of used panties you’ve bought online.” ~ RedShaun21

You don’t have to do much to have a good first date.

Just don’t show up drunk and skip sharing your panty collecting hobby.

It can be that easy.

Written by Robert Acosta

Robert Acosta is an elementary school teacher with a specialty in language arts and writing. He taught for six years in both Tucson and Phoenix before starting his own private tutoring business to serve the greater metro Phoenix area. As a freelance writer his work appears on George Takei’s “Oh Myyy” properties and Uber Facts.
He’s average at drawing, above-average at Magic the Gathering, and an expert at changing diapers in the front seat of cars. He resides in Phoenix with his wife, two black cats, and twin sons.