The best thing about a Hawaiian vacation is the chance to get lei’d.
Ok, I know. That was a TERRIBLE joke, and I sincerely ope the great state of Hawaii will still allow me to vacation there (some day).
That joke actually comes from the fact that Hawaii used to give people these flower leis when they arrived in the state. That tradition has since faded away, but you can still buy them!
But what would other states give their visitors?
Some wise, wise people on reddit answered and the results are hilarious…
Free tater for every out-of-stater!
A Cheerwine and a Cajun filet biscuit. Enjoy.
You land and we hand you a can of Old Bay before you even get off the plane.
Hatch Green Chili
Would give you pecans and quartz crystals
Welcome to Pennsylvania here’s your flat tire!
A bag of boiled peanuts.
Keys to a Subaru
Coffee milk, Del’s lemonade and some quahogs
We’d give you a pepperoni roll and some meth.
Mardi gras beads and a drink.
A speeding ticket
We’d give you the Book of Mormon
Asphalt! Enjoy our roads (what’s left of them)!
Crabs, but they don’t tell you what kind
A glass of sweet tea. If you survive the diabetic coma-enjoy your trip!
Starbucks and a Windows update.
We’d give you the finger.
Which pretty much already happens when you drive out of the airport.
We’re gonna hand you a corn cob.
We’d hand you a gun and some free high school credits.
Either a pine tree pillow or delicious, succulent lobster.
A Packers’ jersey & some cheese curds.
A glass of bourbon.
Gives you a Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee regardless of what season it is.
You get a Chick-fil-A sandwich and an STD
We’d hand you a dollar slice, folded in half.
We’d give you barbecue brisket and a shotgun
A vaccine cocktail, Life Alert button, and handcuffs
We’d give you a gun and a grass fed beef steak
A dog, tattoo and a 1998 Subaru outback with a side of craft beer
The many Californias
Southern California: A reusable Whole Foods bag
Northern California: A bag of weed and some Tofurkey
Central California: A cowboy hat and a CCW permit
An absurdly polite personal tour around the entire state
Here’s your MAGA hat, OSU Jersey, and syringe full of narcan.
A blunt and a craft beer of sorts.
Then immediately fuck you with intense wage vs. rent inequality.
Obligatory bible and meth pipe
A 16 ounce ribeye.
A tax bill
An orange barrel, some concrete crumbles, and a tax bill for both.
6 baby daddies and a can of snuff
Heroin & fireworks (live free or die, I guess)
One unit of meth.
And no, I don’t know how meth is measured or whatever.
Also, KC-style BBQ and toasted ravioli
A steak and a card that says, “yes, we do exist.”
We will give you a complimentary piece of Garfield merchandise, because that’s pretty much all we have.
We’d give you a free TSA strip search for pot and a bud light.
If you flew first class, you also get a fake chuckle when you (and you know you will) make a wizard of Oz joke.
Yeah, we didn’t get to all the states because some people just didn’t answer.
Sorry North and South Dakota! And Nevada… for some reason?
Speak up next time!