This tired mama cannot get enough of laughing at other people’s parenting moments.
You know the kind of moments I mean, right? The ones that made you laugh because the only other option was to run screaming down the street?
I know it’s not just me, and do you know how I know? Because these 16 people tweet things like this!
16. It kind of seems legit.
Those are great movies.
My kid is doing virtual learning and the history teacher asked the class about great battles of the past and some kid said “the battle of Jurassic Park” and I can’t stop thinking about that now
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) February 1, 2021
15. Nice try, little Miss.
They’d better keep their eye on that one.
My daughter is asking the tooth fairy for $100, “because I really liked that tooth.”
— Mara Thee Reporter (@marascampo) January 31, 2021
14. Don’t pick her favorite color.
I convinced my 2 year old that her teeth would turn purple if she didn’t brush them, this worked really well until she decided she wants purple teeth. I really wish I’d gone with green
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 1, 2021
13. They probably want something.
I’m just saying.
I know we aren’t supposed to have favorites but my 4 yo suggested we get back in bed and look at pictures of puppies
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 1, 2021
12. Ugh, so close.
Give that child a snack!
When your kids make you so proud:
Years ago I took my little girl to the park. We stopped a while at the pond as there were children feeding the ducks. One kid noticed my daughter watching and offered some of his bread cubes.
'Thank you' my daughter said gravely, and ate them
— Sophy Boyle (@wyvernandstar) February 1, 2021
11. Hope springs eternal.
So do bruises on siblings.
I asked my 4 year old why he was heading into the garage and he casually replied, "don't worry, dad, I'm just grabbing a hammer." I know I should intervene, but part of me hopes he's going to fix the loose baseboard in the hallway.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 31, 2021
10. Four is when they start to get smarter than you.
And they’re still cuter than you, too. It’s not fair.
I just said “Okay?” to my 4 yo and she responded quietly with “No-kay.” 😩😩😩😩😩😩
— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) February 1, 2021
9. Who knew Avril was prophetic?
Younger you is appalled.
I’m 30 & married but whenever I feed my baby I hear the Avril Lavigne song Sk8r Boi – “five years from now, she sits at home, feeding the baby she’s all alone!”
— Emily Favreau (@emilyfavreau) February 4, 2021
8. Putting this one in my back pocket.
I never thought I would want to recall that moment.
(My kid giving me attitude)
Me: "I pooped on you when you were born"
— Marl (@Marlebean) February 4, 2021
7. All kids do this.
It’s like they get briefed on YouTube or something.
who needs nightmares when you can wake up to the whites of your child’s eyes who is silently standing next to your pillow at 2 am
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 1, 2021
6. How did you ever survive without her?
It’s so adorable how they think we were all born at the same time.
Not sure where I’d be today if not for all the timely and relevant advice from my 5yo. This morning she woke me to let me know not to bite into hamburgers when they are too hot.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 30, 2021
5. Kids see the world in a magical way.
And also in a way where everything is poop.
My five year old was watching the snowfall and said, snow is just cloud poop
I’ll never be able to make snow angels again
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 2, 2021
4. So mind reading, huh?
I’m not sure you should put that on a resume, even if it’s awesome.
Updated my resume so that under “Skills” it just says: Knows that when my kid says “mommy sing Spider-Man” what he means is “play the Spider-Man junkie xl remix with Michael Buble”
— amil (@amil) February 3, 2021
3. It can definitely be both.
It’s always both as far as I can tell.
Me: I love my family with all my heart.
Also me: pic.twitter.com/tuenltkGOk
— CurrentlyCaprece (@MommieKnwsFresh) February 3, 2021
2. It’s important to be realistic about these things.
Enjoy that new T.V.
Me: [looking at TVs online]
Wife: I thought we were putting that money towards a college fund?
Me: [to our 5-year-old] Hey what's 2+2?
Wife: So what TV are we getting?
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) February 3, 2021
1. But her kids were still awake.
Those are the laws of the universe.
I yelled “go to bed” so loud that I put the neighbor’s kids to bed.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 2, 2021
How are kids always the best and the worst? I have no idea.
What’s your best recent story about your kids that would make us laugh? Share it in the comments!