Are you somnambulant?
If you are, you probably know this phenomenon by a different name—sleepwalking.
It mostly happens at night… mostly, and repeated occurrences can be a sign of an underlying sleep disorder.
A few years back, Stanford University School of Medicine researchers found about 3.6% of American adults are prone to sleepwalking. That’s more than 8.4 million adults, by the way.
And according to The Mayo Clinic, “sleepwalking appears to run in families” so if you happen to sleepwalk a fair amount, you might be genetically predisposed to do so.
Sleepwalking occurs more often in children than adults, however, so if you engage in sleepwalking as an adult, you could have some other underlying condition.
Sleepwalking itself is not harmful.
But it can be hazardous, and there have been quite a few horror films over the years that incorporated sleepwalking into their narratives.
But don’t worry, it can be quite funny, too!
Given sleepwalking’s comedic (and horrific) potential, it makes perfect sense that Redditor michaelw619 asked the online community:
“Sleepwalkers of Reddit, what’s the scariest/funniest thing that has happened to you while sleepwalking?”
“I don’t sleepwalk much anymore…”
“I don’t sleepwalk much anymore but about a year ago I put several pairs of shoes in the fridge.” ~ marleej
“I was met in a dream…”
“Only ever happened one time. I was met in a dream by my doppelgänger. She was a mirror image of me, but more beautiful.”
“Her eyes were bluer, her teeth whiter, her complexion clearer, her hair a shinier, longer blonde. She said, ‘When you dream, you’re in my world. I want to live in your world. I want to trade places with you.'”
“I grabbed my cellphone, backing out of my apartment with my eyes on her when a black shape exploded from a nearby closet flying straight at me.”
“I turned and ran out my front door, and was headed down the narrow staircase of the old house I lived in when I heard a low, gravelly voice say ‘Where ya goin’ Dolly?'”
“The black shape whisked around the corner and then it was upon me. I awoke in a crumpled heap on the staircase, my cellphone gripped tightly in my white fist.” ~ [deleted]
“One time, he woke up one morning…”
“My dad used to sleepwalk. One time, he woke up one morning and had about six cats sitting with him on the couch. They all had owners.”
“According to his next-door neighbor, who was very nosy, she saw my dad running around luring these cats with food and bringing them home with him in the middle of the night.”
“He has no memory of doing that and can’t explain why he didn’t wake up to the meowing and scratching the cats made.”
“Luckily he didn’t get charged with animal kidnapping but had to start tying his feet to the bedpost so there weren’t any more incidents for a few years.”
“We also learned that my dad was allergic to cats, so there’s that.” ~ [deleted]
“I have an Ambien prescription…”
“I have an Ambien prescription and I often cook ambitious meals at night, with no memory in the morning. It’s not unusual for my roommates to find me cooking bacon at 3 a.m.”
“At first it was concerning–what if I burn down the house? However, my unconscious self is extremely diligent–I ALWAYS clean up entirely and usually end up cleaning the entire kitchen.” ~ [deleted]
“When I asked what the hell he was doing…”
“My boyfriend sleepwalks. A couple of nights ago he ripped the duvet off me and threw it in the hall. When I asked what the hell he was doing he just replied that it’s full of spiders and then just stood facing the wall.” ~ Eliza109
“Not my finest moment.”
“So one time I had a dream that my brother (who was too young to swim at the time) jumped into a swimming pool so I dived in to save him… Yeah in reality I just dived off my bunk bed… Not my finest moment.” ~ UkuleleRequiem
“She asked me if I was ok…”
“My mom told me that I stood over her till she woke up. She asked me if I was ok and I just turned around and went back to bed.” ~ th3_pope
“Around 4 a.m. the other night…”
“Around 4 a.m. the other night my girlfriend let out a violent scream and sprinted to the door where she began beating on it!”
“I ran over, grabbed her, and when I did she began screaming even louder and started flinging her arms around until she finally realized it was me and she woke up.”
“She said she was having a dream and there was a stranger trying to kidnap her. I’ve never been so terrified in my entire life!”
“Also found out that if something ever did happen to me in my apartment, my neighbors don’t give a s*** and I would definitely die.” ~ robmacgar
“Apparently I had an imaginary phone call…”
“Apparently I had an imaginary phone call with someone for fifteen minutes about what I was going to have for breakfast in the morning.” ~ ITomza
“I took an entire carton of milk…”
“I took an entire carton of milk from my fridge then proceeded to return it after much deliberation with myself.” ~ CatchingSomeZs
“He didn’t know our room number.”
“One time in a hotel, my little brother left the room and walked down the hall before waking up. He didn’t know our room number.” ~ sadafasadafagafagada
“The only time I did that…”
“The only time I did that, I walked into the kitchen and started digging around in the junk drawer looking for scissors.”
“My dad asked what I needed scissors for, I grumbled ‘Never mind,’ and went back to bed. Remembered none of it the next day.” ~ Okaylasttime
Humans are wild, man.
Well, that settles it. None of us are safe.
We can’t even enjoy a little bit of sleep without getting ourselves into danger!
This is truly why we can’t have nice things.