A lot of tweets are totally forgettable. Some are funny enough to demand you share them. And others will be funny until THE END OF TIME.
Today we’ve got 19 tweets that aren’t just funny…. they’re absolutely fucking hilarious.
1. That’s how he lures you in.
Jesus out here looking like a SNACK pic.twitter.com/XrTQxOYzRb
— 『Hannah Hotpocket』 (@MarxistHarpy) February 24, 2018
2. Seriously change it.
ME: ugh turn this off, I hate depressing movies
GOD: This is your life flashing before your eyes
ME: Put Ratatouille on
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) February 26, 2018
3. What did he think was going to happen?
Roommate has date coming by later and asked me to clean bc he's not home. So I made a Princess D shrine in his room pic.twitter.com/wfOeVUm7yW
— Deno DeMartino (@Deno_Tron) July 1, 2017
4. RIP to all that mayo and ketchup.
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.
— rachelle mandik ???? (@rachelle_mandik) January 21, 2016
5. The human brain is the best.
Pleasure to meet you. The name's… pic.twitter.com/Auq5ynNTHJ
— Jay ???? (@jaybn1) August 18, 2016
6. The lesser of two evils.
wife: Why is your back all scratched up?
[flashback to me chasing a raccoon after she told me to leave it alone]
me: I'm having an affair
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) August 18, 2016
7. Becoming ravioli is a worthy goal.
coffins : the ultimate and final ravioli
— egg dog (????????????????????????????????????) (@egg_dog) March 7, 2018
DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT pic.twitter.com/Kr48zBcL1m
— Klaudia Amenábar, Count Dooku apologist (@kaludiasays) August 2, 2017
9. Meanwhile your SO or roommates are actually about to beat you to death.
Me setting my alarm for every 5 minutes in the morning pic.twitter.com/TjCBc9hPcY
— dad bitch autumn @MFF ???? (@syrianbryn) September 11, 2017
10. Why so awkward?
me overthinking how I said "here" during attendance pic.twitter.com/YEx9saFzqz
— sof (@ieathotchips) September 7, 2017
11. Not a fighter.
ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me
— a ghost, online (@AbrasiveGhost) April 16, 2016
12. He also looks like every teenaged boy taking a photo to please his mom.
this dog looks exactly how renaissance painters thought dogs looked like and im in love pic.twitter.com/pjFviExBTs
— nelly furtado (@jfurta_) March 6, 2018
13. Someone didn’t get enough sleep last night.
Congratulations to the happy couple! pic.twitter.com/sVQyAv7GOb
— Tettra™ (@tettracat) July 29, 2017
14. I join her in this musing.
I wonder what it's like to be able to put your hair in a low ponytail and not look like a founding father
— Megan ✌︎ (@megan_middle) June 30, 2017
our cats had a fight and my parents are trying to make them resolve it lol pic.twitter.com/O7IHihmPo1
— allie oetken (@allieoets) June 26, 2016
16. Don’t judge me CAROL!
"Wow 3 tattoos.. those are pretty permanent you know"
Me: wow 3 kids… those are pretty damn permanent CAROL
— Emily Barry (@EmiBarry) July 26, 2017
17. I can get behind this…
When you're struggling to reach the word count whilst writing an essay pic.twitter.com/czr48f5EYT
— Dan (@DanielWhitear) May 18, 2017
18. PURE genius…
Riley, you're a genius. pic.twitter.com/Lp3VAf7C2Q
— Joel Willans (@Joelwillans) July 30, 2017
How much spinach I start cooking vs how much I end up with. pic.twitter.com/DWmWEKQFkm
— Boomer Please (@BienSur_JeTaime) January 5, 2018
Yeah, that was fun. We have fun around here.
It’s what we do.
What were your faves? Let us know in the comments.
It’s what we do. ????