Advertisement

Kids will believe pretty much anything. Add that to the fact that a lot of parents enjoy hoodwinking us for fun, and well, most of us can recall believing some pretty silly stuff during childhood.

That said, sometimes our parents sort of forget to tell us the truth, or assume we’ve learned it ourselves, and we believe those things for way too long – these 16 people are willing to admit to just that, for the laughs.

16. I guess undercover work is in trouble, then.

That if you ask someone if they’re a police officer, they have to tell you the truth.

There are still people who believe this. Whoever started this urban legend is a genius.

15. I don’t know when I realized they were real.

That reindeer wasn’t an actual animal but specifically a mythical animal that Santa Claus used.

I believed this until I was 23 or so when I saw some nature documentary talking about reindeer. I was like.. whaaaaaaaaat?

14. Sometimes we just want to believe.

My dog went to a farm… Until I was 35.

13. That is very elaborate.

When I was a kid I used to think professional wrestling was real, and The Undertaker scared the living shit out of me during his whole Ministry of Darkness phase. I thought he actually was Satan’s minister or something.

Like yeah, he’s an undead overlord of hell, here to bring an eternity of darkness and misery to this planet, but he also has to make a weekly television appearance to win a wrestling competition, and you can buy his action figure at Toys R Us.

12. Major parent fail.

I thought guys got periods too, but only once, and you bled and then you were able to impregnate someone.

I cut my upper leg during a rugby match and was bleeding near my groin and was devastated because I thought everyone would presume I had my period mid-match and also subsequently would be walking around able to impregnate people. Worst thing is, I wasn’t even a stupid kid – we literally just lived in a reserved country and I was a full-time boarder at my school, so never got ‘the talk’.

Anyway, thanks for attending my Bled Talk.

11. Bless.

I believed my uncles “roommate” just slept on the couch…

10. I can see this kid’s mind turning.

More so naive and innocent rather than dumb but still funny.

My dad used to tell us kids that a dwarf/little person worked in and operated every carpark barrier in the world.

Every time he drove up to one he’d press the button for the ticket and say “cheers mate, hows the wife?” and fake a conversation as he waited for the barrier to open lol.

9. When the dumb almost kills you.

That I could smell something while underwater.

When I was around 10/12 years old I was in a tropical themed water park where also happened to be a herbal bath. It smelled very nice, which I had not expected. Most of the tropical plants were fake plastic plants, so I figured the water in the bath was normal swimming pool water and the smell was coming from something else. The bath was surrounded with a small aromatic herb garden which didn’t look fake. I sneakily took a sample from a thyme plant that felt surprisingly real.

But because the air was filled with all the different aromas and a hint of chlorine I couldn’t smell anything different when I tried to smell the thyme. I figured the only place where my sense of smell couldn’t be fooled by any fakery was underwater. For 5 seconds I actually felt pretty smart. Until I tried.

8. I am dead now.

That sperm were the size of tennis balls and would burst forth from the head of your penis if you “slept with a woman”, slither across the bed up into her, and make the baby.

Thanks facts of life popup book with no adults willing to clarify that the objects within were not always to scale.

7. His wife told him the truth.

I used to think they dropped the ball at times square multiple times for each USA time zone.

I just assumed people stuck around for the extra ball drops cuz they were all drunk and having fun.

Worth mentioning that I believed this until I was an adult and had my east coast wife let me down easy

6. Sex education is sorely lacking.

I thought that girls peed from their butts.

Then I learned about vaginas and thought girls peed from there.

It wasn’t until I was like 16 that I realized there was another hole.

5. That makes you think.

When we played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon my little sister used to accept the lamest missions and not get good rewards. I told her about it and she responded with

“How would you like it if you were a poor Pokémon that lost its mom and was stuck all alone and had nothing to give someone to save you?”

I laughed my head off at her because “it’s not real, duh” but secretly, I feel that in my soul sometimes.

4. Hollywood is a liar.

That men can get pregnant too …. damn you Schwarzenegger :'(

I was 6 and I saw a man with a big beer belly shopping for diapers at a mall. It made all sense to me and i was so happy i screamed omg u will have a baby !

I think I am gonna go rewatch Junior again.

3. It’s the last part that nails it.

As a kid, my sister told me that we had an older brother that died.

She said he died when playing bowling and his fingers didn’t come out the ball and slid all the way down the alley then he turned into a skittle.

2. Maybe these should be things.

When I was a little kid, I believed that when people got divorced, they had a divorce ceremony, like where they had to go to church and say, “I don’t.”

I imagined the woman wore a black divorce dress (like her wedding dress had been dyed black), and that everybody went to the reception where the ex-bride and ex-groom sat on opposite sides of the hall and there was a divorce cake where the little bride and groom on top had their backs to each other with their arms angrily crossed.

I eventually learned, from watching my mom’s soap operas, that this was not the case, and was kind of disappointed cuz I’d been to a few weddings by then, and was interested in what a divorce ceremony was like.

1. So many wrong lyrics before the internet.

One of my favorite song’s growing up was TLC’s “Don’t Go, Jason Waterfalls”

I can’t think of anything I believed past the age of say, ten, can you?

If so, please share the story with us in the comments!


Advertisement