Advertisement

If you’re from the midwest like me, then there are certain things you just know in your heart.

One thing you definitely DON’T know, though, is where exactly the midwest even is. I mean, where you’re from is part of it, for sure, but the term is kind of slippery.

It’s not like “West Coast,” where there’s a clear criteria test. Does your state touch the Pacific Ocean? Yes? Then it’s part of the West Coast. But “mid” west?

It’s a point of contention according to everyone with whom I’ve ever broached the subject. For the record, the federal government apparently considers the following states to be the “official” midwest: Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, South Dakota, and Wisconsin.

It’s a big club. And we all know what’s up. This Twitter account certainly does.

10. The window clean

I could stand out here freezing my fingers off for another hour and be late to work or I could just get in my warm car and risk it all.

9. The wind

It’s really the only thing that matters.

8. The culture

In Missouri you need to replace that last picture with a QuikTrip.

7. The time

Would ya just look at it?

6. The snacks

The last one is called “puppy chow.”
I don’t know why, I wish it weren’t true, but that’s how it goes.

5. The cows

If you drive by cows and don’t say the word “cows” then I’m going to have to assume you’re physically incapable of speech.

4. The summer 60

It really is the perfect temperature.

3. The scream

And in that moment you question everything that has brought you here.

2. The wiper trick

It helps a little?

1. The “salads”

Somehow they have more calories than the burger.

Ope, looks like it’s about that time!

What’s the most midwestern thing you’ve ever done?

Tell us in the comments.


Advertisement