Guys, listen up. It turns out we’re doing a bunch of creepy stuff that the ladies out there really don’t like.
A bunch of women on Reddit shared the things that men do that really weirds them out.
“Being a creeper isn’t always something people do on purpose. It’s very possible to be minding your own business, just trying to live your life and be a good person, and accidentally make someone else uncomfortable. 8th grade me learned this while daydreaming on the really long bus rides home. It turns out I would zone out while staring at the person in front of me and to my left. Unfortunately the same kid sat there and it took almost three full weeks of daily stare-downs before he said something about it. I was the creep for almost a full month and had no idea! Sorry about that again, dude.
The thing is, I’m a four foot ten inch woman who could legitimately scare exactly nobody. At the time of my creeperhood, I was about four foot eight with poofy hair and enormous glasses, so again – not really scary. But my goodness how different might that person have felt if I was an adult man? My awkward innocent creepiness could have been full blown panic inducing creepiness to someone and I still may never have known it.
2. Don’t walk you home
“Walking you home after a date without asking if she would like you to.
I know in the guy’s head he’s being a gentleman and making sure his date gets home safely. But really think about what you’re doing. You’re following someone home when you barely know them. That’s the sort of thing you should make sure is welcome first.
It’s fine to offer to walk someone home, but if they decline don’t insist and do it anyway. They either don’t want you to know where they live and/or they aren’t interested in spending more time with you. Don’t follow someone – anyone – back to their house if they don’t want you to. That’s where nightmares start.”
“Not a woman, but I guess hover guys. Like she is in a bar and there is one guy watching her from the distance. Feeling his stare she moves to another place in the establishment. Guess who will be close by to her new location? Yes that guy. To be fair that guy is probably not trying to be a creep, he likely is just very shy and struggling to make a move. He always finds excuses like: **”Oh she is talking to friends right now, better not interrupt.” **
His indecisiveness and shyness keeps him in a state between approaching and not approaching, which makes him appear creepy.”
4. Don’t ever do this
“I once had a dude listening when I was making a call to set up a doctor’s appointment. I verified my phone number to the receptionist on the other end of the line, he heard it, wrote it down then later texted me. I had no idea who he was.
Were your sneaky tactics supposed to impress me, dude? Because they didn’t. A woman’s info isn’t a god damned free for all for you to use.
Don’t ever do this.”
“By telling me how pretty I am by insulting my friend. Like: **”You’re way prettier than Becky!” **
Thanks, dick. How do you not realize that instead of “winning her over”, you’re turning us off by being a jerk and insulting friends?”
6. Creepy at the gym
“Gym coaching. I’m a guy and I go to the gym regularly. I’ve seen a few men working out with women partners where they are obviously “coaching” them by keeping their hands on the woman’s waist or somewhere else on her body while she goes through the motion of her exercise. Like, I really don’t think she needs you to have your hands on her waist while she performs weight assisted pull-ups and you don’t need to stand behind her and hold her while she does squats.”
7. Touching without consent
“Touching my hair without consent. Don’t Do it. Whenever I change my hair cut, color or style I invariably have men touching it. Girls squeal and tell me it’s pretty then ask to touch it and don’t push it if I say no. Guys (customers or coworkers) just reach out and touch it. I appreciate compliments, I really do, but why do you have to be touching my hair to tell me how nice it looks?”
“Get defensive to the point of anger when we point out ways in which they’re making us uncomfortable.
Really not helping your case, my dudes.”
“Telling me that I would make a good “housewife” or that you want to take me back to your house when I’m just doing normal cleaning up at work. Do you see the male employees wipe counters and tell them they’d be great “househusbands” or that you want to take them home?
Don’t people get how they’re coming across?”
“Eavesdropping on conversations just to get an “in” to start talking. This weekend my friends and I went to a bar and were waiting in line to order our drinks. One of our friends had gone to the bathroom and was going to meet us in line. The friend I was standing with and talking to said something to the effect of “I wonder what Lauren wants me to order her?” during our conversation.
When Lauren approaches, the guy that was standing behind us says “oh you must be lauren” even tho we haven’t talked to him at all. He then starts asking us all where we’re from and trying to small talk. This doesn’t make you seem attentive, it makes you seem creepy and desperate.”
“Do not call a woman a yummy mommy, MILF, naughty mommy or any other term that sexualizes the fact I have children. It’s creepy!”
12. Not interested
“When you’ve made every nonverbal signal that you aren’t interested and they approach you anyway or just linger around staring. If I am avoiding eye contact, cross my arms/frown, or if I see you approaching and move or change my direction… I’m not interested. This happens especially with guys in their 50s-70s at my gym, I make it very obvious I’m not interested, and then try to shut down the conversation that happens inevitably anyway, but they just keep. talking. and then trail you (still talking) if your try to physically remove yourself from their presence.”
13. Mixed Signals
“Buying me stuff and then refusing to stop when I ask them to. Nothing ever comes for free. And when they inevitably try to make a move some how I’m the rude heartless bitch that was taking advantage of them and leading them on. I explicitly asked them to STOP BUYING ME STUFF then had to move to actually throwing it away in front of them. They never got the hint and turned this into my fault for ‘sending mixed signals’.”
“I wonder if dudes realize how scary it is when they raise their volume in conversation. I had a roommate that was a big guy, 6.5 feet and probably 250 lbs, fairly intimidating stature. He’d always talk to girls he had over with his booming voice and wondered why none of them stayed.
Guys do this to each other all the time, your voice just gets louder and louder until you’re shouting. And nobody is even mad. Just passionate about the conversation.”
15. No hugs please
“Demand a hug after the first meeting. We may have only said 3 words to each other but they ALWAYS want a hug. Some people are huggers, some are not. If she doesn’t want a hug, offer a respectful hand shake. It’s more about demanding it. The whole “where’s my hug?!” is super creepy. Just read the signals. I’m a hugger too, but it’s pretty easy to tell when someone doesn’t want to be hugged.
I love being hugged, the vast majority of guys I know hug me, and 99% of the time, I’m down for that snug. If you notice that they step back or stiffen up, don’t do it. Don’t do it if you don’t know them well, or if they seem like they’re trying to leave the conversation.
If they’re friends, and return the hug, go for it. The world needs more hugs.”