Workers Get Poetic About Their Profession Using Only Haiku

Markus Winkler/Unsplash

We spend much of our time at work each day so it makes sense that people develop a sense of humor about it all. We also spend a considerable amount of time talking about what we do for our living, too.

Think about it. When was the last time you were hanging out with new people and to break the ice, they asked you, “What do you do for a living?”

It happens a lot, right?

But suppose you’re bored of launching into the same song-and-dance, the same boring explanation each time? After all, the answers you give have been committed to memory by now, haven’t they?

Imagine if someone asked you to describe what you do in the form of a poem. Things would get much more interesting then!

That was the principle of the matter here thanks to Redditor Lost_Borealin asked the online community:

“Writing only in haiku, what do you do for work?”

IT professionals definitely understand the struggle written about here:

“How can I help you?”

“Oh my god, it is blinking.”

“Try restarting it.” ~ TrafficGreat

And here’s another from someone in the same profession:

“You broke your laptop.”

“Somehow this is my problem?”

“Yelling won’t fix it.” ~ zerinsackeh1

Law school students definitely have heavy workloads, but this person is almost in the clear, hooray!

“I am in law school.”

“I do research for money.”

“Graduating soon.” ~ -MoodIndigo-

And here’s a peek into the future:

“I used to do that.”

“Now I write briefs all damn day.”

“But it pays the bills.” ~ OneFingerIn

X-ray technicians are undoubtedly busy these days!

“I see black and white.”

“Gray all over in between.”

“When X-rays hit you.” ~ -CrowWill-

Here we have a submission from someone representing Chipotle!

“Black or pinto beans?”

“You know guac is extra right?”

“Any sides with that?” ~ Noosents

And while not a job, here’s a submission from a satisfied customer:

“Whaddup cake day bro.

” “I ate Chipotle tonight.”

“It was damn good, thanks.” ~ TheMulattoMaker

Here’s a submission from someone who is not working currently—and we’re sorry to hear has been sick for some time:

“Work was years ago.”

“Unfortunately got sick.”

“On Reddit all day…” ~ GeniusEE

Here’s another person who’s unemployed—and we appreciate them being such a good sport:

“I am unemployed.”

“Guess I sit around a lot.”

“God I need a job.” ~ theEluminator

And now for a few submissions from the service industry.

Like this one:

“Put away returns.”

“Are you ready to check out?”

“Refrigerator.” ~ azemetrx

And another—this one from a store manager:

“May I speak with the-”

“Manager? That’s me, Karen.”

“Screaming then ensues.” ~ TitanCatTC

One from someone outlining the bane of every service worker’s existence:

“Is this a dollar?”

“Have you changed your prices yet?”

“Hey, do you work here?” ~ Euclybx

Another, this one from someone who has a knack for rhyming:

“Arranging produce.”

“So that customers buy it.”

“Just to deep fry it.” ~ MackeralSky

Another, this one from someone who does the same thing:

“At a grocery store.”

“I put out all the produce.”

“Throw out all the bad.” ~ ggfchi

And one more, this one from a restaurant worker:

“Service industry.”

“But I cannot stand people.”

“So I bus tables.” ~ skinnybastard

Here’s someone doing some very important work that I’m sure many people are grateful for after the hellish last year-and-a-half that we’ve had:

“Vaccine researchers.”

“Rely on me to fill studies.”

“With lots of people.” ~ bellyflop2

Hey, remember what being a college student was like?

Don’t remember?

Well, here’s a reminder:

“Nothing but schoolwork.”

“Occasionally homework.”

“Ugh anyday now.” ~ Pagalingling40

Here’s someone who’s in school and decided to be clever… we see what they did there.

“What is a haiku?

“I’m in school so I don’t know.”

“So is this a haiku?” ~FewJackfruit1432

Here’s a teacher telling us how it is.

“I help shape young minds.”

“I put up with their parents.”

“I’m not paid enough.” ~ edgarpicke

This person perfectly summed up what it’s like to work remotely—so we’re guessing their life didn’t change much when the pandemic hit:

“It’s much like before.”

“I still help people.”

“But now I’m in my PJs.” ~ slice_of_pi

This person probably has some pretty interesting stories about the people who come into their shop:

“I need some money.”

“What is your collateral?”

“Maybe this TV?” ~ Winquisitor

We’re taking an educated guess here and guessing that this person does something with… wait for it… products:

“Writing about products.”

“Creating ads for products.”

“Posting about products.” ~ snowstormspawn

Oooh… we’ve got someone special over here.

Anyone have any educated guesses of their own?

We’re thinking something with a high security clearance.

“It is very rare.”

“Can’t be too specific.”

“Don’t want to dox myself.” ~ Hlodvigovich915

Okay, you know how hard scientists have worked over the last year to get us to understand the importance of taking the COVID-19 vaccine?

Here’s a submission from an epidemiologist who just had to express their frustration:

“Poxed populations.”


“Revered, then ignored.” ~ annoyedgrunt

Next one is a lawyer?

Someone in publishing?

Either way, they’re keeping you out of legal trouble:

“You can’t publish that.”

“It is copyrighted art.”

“Get permission now.” ~ Frysiel

Here’s a submission from someone who works with disabled individuals in their capacity at the Social Security Administration:

“Disabled people.”

“They want to go to work soon.”

“SSA questions.” ~ trashytamboriney

And here’s another submission, this one from someone who doesn’t sound too happy with that same government agency:

“Disabled people.”

“Waiting on phone forever.”

“Then disconnected.” ~ Batfink27

Here’s one from someone who’s definitely sick and tired of working in software development:

“So sick of fixing bugs.”

“So sick of feeling dumb every day.”

“Lots of money, but crushing.” ~ bctwoPoint0

I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, “Hey, Mr. Writer! Give us a haiku of your own! What’s it like being a full time writer?”

Well, sorry to disappoint you all, but writing haikus isn’t my strong suit.

If you must know what being a writer is like, then I just want you to imagine sitting in front of your screen all day, largely in solitude.

But here’s one last one from an editor:

“Your mistakes are mine,”

“words to correct and refine.”

“Your errors—my job.” ~ LakotaGrl